Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for April 20th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: YOUNG LADIES; IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WEAR A DRESS YOU DON’T HAVE TO ATTEND

Chloe Collins canvassed for Sen. Bernie Sanders in Nevada last summer. She interns for a community organizer in Utah. But the Cottonwood High School senior was discouraged when she found out that her summer plans for civic growth would include “a way to force women to make themselves smaller.” The 17-year-old was surprised that Utah Girls State ­— a five-day camp that teaches high school seniors about local and national government — requires attendees to wear skirts or dresses with blouses. No pantsuits allowed. “The dress code, I feel, is doing a disservice to all the girls,” Collins said. “When I found out that I had to wear a dress or a skirt, I was a little offended.” The American Legion Auxiliary (ALA) Girls State program develops “leadership skills, confidence and action-based understanding of the government process,” according to its website. Young women attending the program are required to bring “dresses or skirts and blouses to wear every day.” Utah Boys State requires participants to wear trousers and provides a T-shirt for participants, according to the program’s website. Wearing a dress or skirt makes Collins uncomfortable, she said, because she has to adjust the way she sits and carries herself. Sitting with crossed legs, Collins said, puts a woman in a position where she’s folded in on herself. Contrary to men, who can sit in broad, sprawled positions, sitting with crossed legs is “a way to force women to make themselves smaller around men.” The Utah Girls State board is in charge of the dress code, according to Cary Fisher, ALA Girls State’s education director. “Those girls who decide they cannot abide by the standards can choose to not attend ALA Utah Girls State,” Fisher said in an email to The Salt Lake Tribune. The dress code has been in place since the national program debuted in 1937, according to the Girls State website, but Collins said tradition isn’t a good enough reason to keep a policy.

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Boner Candidate #2: I USED A LOT OF THAT MONEY FOR HIM

A Nevada woman accused of falsely claiming her 10-year-old son had a terminal illness and died so she could solicit gifts and money from sympathizers told the boy during the alleged scam that he was dying from leukemia, a prosecutor said Wednesday. Victoria Morrison, 31, spent months faking the boy’s illness and then his death — complete with a fictitious memorial service, authorities said as she made her first court appearance following her arrest last week. Gifts to Morrison and her son included a shopping spree with emergency responders in Nevada’s Carson City, a helicopter ride for the boy, gift cards and cash, according to a criminal complaint filed Wednesday. Carson City Sheriff Kenny Furlong said Morrison also raised about $2,000 through GoFundMe’s social media site. She was originally charged with obtaining money by false pretenses after her arrest last Friday at a motel, Furlong said. The boy and Morrison’s three other children were placed in the custody of state protective services. An additional charge of child abuse was lodged against Morrison because “the information I have is that Mom falsely told him he was dying of leukemia,” Carson City Assistant District Attorney Melanie Brantingham said in an interview. Morrison was jailed for lack of $20,000 bail and a public defense lawyer was appointed to represent her. Nevada State Public Defender Karin Kreizenbeck, who oversees the defense lawyers, said her office had no comment on the case. If convicted of both charges, Morrison faces up to 20 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. Furlong said Morrison’s son had been diagnosed with a treatable childhood illness more than a year ago. “But she used embellished medical information to convince the child, the schools and the public that he was terminally ill,” Furlong said. He said the boy missed school for months.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE PEOPLE BLOW,  NOW…BLOW YOURSELF

An Austin police officer whose duties included administering Breathalyzer tests has been fired after a self-administered test indicated he had reported for work drunk. His supervising sergeant is suspended for 60 days. A memo released Tuesday showed the officer reported for his shift one day last October, then drove his patrol car to the Travis County Jail for a self-administered breath test required by his certification. The results showed a blood-alcohol concentration of .064-0.65 percent. The officer drove back to his substation and gave the results to his supervisor, who told him to stay out of service until sober. A state police scientist said an extrapolation of the results meant the officer reported for work with a .084-.124 percent blood-alcohol concentration, above the state limit for drivers of .08 percent.

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