Boners

Boner (Round One) for April 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: DILDO BARRAGE

Meet Nelson Webb Lentz. Following a “bad experience” at a Books-A-Million outlet near his Louisiana home, the 71-year-old Lentz decided to retaliate in a unique way. No, the septuagenarian did not stage a boycott or write a strongly worded letter to the local newspaper. Instead, Lentz visited the Monroe business and left dildos on the shelves of the store’s Religion section. Lentz copped to his bizarre actions during a police interview Sunday morning “about leaving sex toys (Dildos)” at the chain store (seen below). Lentz, pictured above, told cops he “had extra items, so he used them for that purpose.” Books-A-Million workers told police that there had been “several incidents involving Lentz leaving the items in the Religious section of the store.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I CANT STAND TO USE A PUBLIC RESTROOM

The views were crappy and the location stank, but for one Japanese squatter, it was home. Takashi Yamanouchi lived for three years above a public toilet in Usuki — until a nosy electrician blew the lid off his secret abode. The party pooper, who was working at the restroom earlier this month, ratted out Yamanouchi, 54, to authorities, who busted him on trespassing charges. The 990-square-foot home was no dump. The digs contained a gas stove, an electric heater and a large supply of clothing. But Yamanouchi apparently didn’t seek relief downstairs — authorities were bowled over when they found 300 bottles filled with urine, the BBC reported, citing the Mainichi news.

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Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE HE’S NOT IMMORTAL

A psychic in Thailand named Theprit Palee was in the middle of performing a traditional spirit dance in front of onlookers when he decided to stab himself in order to show that he is immortal. And let’s just say that things did not go well. The 25-year-old was performing the ritual that is believed to honor the ghosts of ancestors — and this show involved Palee pressing the blade of a sword against his chest where it was supposed to break like it has broken in previous shows. Well something went wrong and the weapon failed to break, which of course led Palee to stab himself in the chest. And unfortunately for Palee, he didn’t make it as he was pronounced dead at the hospital

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