Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for August 21st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: ROBERT E. LEE STATUE OR 9-11 MEMORIAL, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

Maine’s Republican governor likened the removal of Confederate statues across the country to tearing down monuments to those who died in the terror attacks on Sept. 11. “To me, it’s just like going to New York City right now and taking down the monument of those who perished in 9/11. It will come to that,” Gov. Paul LePage told Maine radio station ​WGAN-AM ​in an interview Thursday. He also said​ ​left-wing activists who are calling for the removal of the statues ​across the country​ were ignorant of history and compared them to “the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

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Boner Candidate #2: AND SHE HAD A ROCK IN HER EAR

A couple were horrified after being sent a photo of their four-year-old daughter “duct taped to a chair while at nursery.” Parents Elysha Brooks and Christian Evans say they were contacted by the Department of Children and Family Services in Missouri and sent a picture that appears to show their daughter taped to a plastic chair. The parents believe the picture was taken while her daughter was a student at the Little Learners of Florissant daycare. They say the nursery school never contacted them about an incident.

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Boner Candidate #3: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT TO DO

KISS frontman and possible bovine absentee father Gene Simmons was widely ridiculed for a recent attempt to trademark the heavy metal devil horn hands. (Really, Simmons’ version of the hands, with its extended thumbs, has more to do with Spider-Man and sign language than it does with pummeling riffs and guitar solos, but that’s another story.) Wendy Dio, widow of metal godhead Ronnie James Dio, summed up the reaction to Simmons’ attempt to capitalize on a symbol that clearly belongs to the culture: “To try to make money off of something like this is disgusting.” Besides, Simmons didn’t even popularize the hands–Dio did.

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