Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for August 22nd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE’LL BE LEGALIZING PEDOPHILIA

CNN has unearthed an interview in which Sam Clovis, the potato sack Trump nominated to head science research within the Department of Agriculture, is sharing his thoughts on homosexuality. Surprise: they are very, very bad. Clovis, who like many in the Trump administration has no qualifications for his post and a long history of saying and writing stupid things as a far-right talk show host, has described “LGBT behavior” as a “choice” that, if protected, could lead to the government also protecting pedophilia.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE ARE KENNDEDYS.

Two members of the Kennedy clan were arrested for refusing to tone down a raucous party early Sunday. Police in Barnstable, Mass., collared Matthew “Max” Kennedy, 52 — the ninth son of assassinated former New York senator Robert F. Kennedy — and his daughter Caroline, 22, at a home near the family’s famed Hyannis Port compound at 1 a.m. Cops showed up after several noise complaints about the rager, where party-goers were also lighting off fireworks. Officers asked them to keep it down, but they refused, so police cuffed them, according to CapeCod.com.

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Boner Candidate #3: HEY…HE IS HOT!

A woman was arrested after she allegedly grabbed the genitals of a University of Texas police officer — and then told the officer on the way to jail it was because he was “hot,” police said. Bonnie Fay Terraciano, 43, was spotted by the officer outside of a drug store late Friday in Austin with an open can of beer next to her. The cop then conducted a background search and found that Terraciano had outstanding warrants for public intoxication and interfering with a roadway, the Austin American-Statesman reports.

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