Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for August 25th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: YOU’LL BE THE QUEEN IF YOU GET BIGGER BREASTS.

Even beauty queens aren’t perfect, according to Miss Asia Pacific World pageant officials, who dethroned their newest teenage honoree for refusing to get breast implants. Burmese beauty queen May Myat Noe lost her title last week due to her “lack of personality, integrity, loyalty to the organization, and lovely character,” officials said in a statement issued the same day. The letter also cites her “ungrateful attitude and trustworthiness” as part of their reasoning. That “ungrateful attitude” refers to the 16-year-old’s decision not to permanently alter her physical appearance, even when the organization offered to foot the bill. Noe is ready to relinquish the title and tiara, just as soon as she gets an apology, she said in a press conference Tuesday.

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Boner Candidate #2: HORRIFIC STORMS AND TORNADOES

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for some tornadoes! The pilot of a Newark-bound United flight delivered a chilling warning that kicked up a storm among his terrified passengers, according to a report. He announced that the flight — which had already been delayed in Chicago two hours on Tuesday — would encounter terrible storms, including twisters, passengers told NJ.com. “He seemed angry,” said Pamela Kent, a Princeton resident who was traveling with her daughter Jessica. “He said, ‘We’re going to be flying through horrific storms, including tornadoes.’”

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Boner Candidate #3: IT IS UNCLEAR WHERE VP PENCE WAS AT THE TIME

U.S. Army soldiers assigned to protect Vice President Mike Pence have been removed from their detail after an incident in Colombia, NBC reported.  Sources told NBC that the men were caught on camera bringing women back to their hotel last week without registering them. It is unclear where Pence was at the time. Security video reportedly showed the soldiers bringing the women into a restricted area. “We are aware of the incident and it is currently under investigation,” a spokesperson for the Department of Defense told HuffPost. “We can confirm that the individuals in question have been re-assigned back to the Army.” Pence was in Colombia last week as a part of a tour of Latin America, which included a meeting Aug. 13 with Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos. The U.S. vice president also visited Chile, Argentina and Panama.

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