Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for December 14th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I AM REALLY PROUD OF MY WORK.

A twisted British surgeon literally left his mark on two patients – using a laser beam to carve his initials onto their livers during transplant operations, according to reports. Dr. Simon Bramhall, 53, who left “SB” on the organs of a man and woman, admitted two counts of assault at Birmingham Crown Court, but pleaded not guilty to charges of assault causing bodily harm. Surgeons use argon beams to stop livers from bleeding, but can also use the beams to burn the organs’ surfaces to sketch out the area of an operation. The marks normally disappear. But the female patient’s liver did not heal in the normal way and the initials were discovered in a follow-up operation, according to the Telegraph. “This has been a highly unusual and complex case, both within the expert medical testimony served by both sides and in law,” prosecutor Tony Badenoch said.

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Boner Candidate #2: IF SHE’S A LIBERAL, SHE DESERVED IT.

A city official in the southeastern Missouri town of Poplar Bluff faces criminal charges for allegedly pumping a shotgun to tease a liberal co-worker. Poplar Bluff Streets Superintendent Denis Kearbey, 53, is charged with the unlawful use of a weapon and is free on $25,000 bond. He pleaded not guilty Monday. In a probable cause statement, the Missouri State Highway Patrol alleges that Kearbey brought a short-barrel shotgun to the clerk’s office on Sept. 12, pumped it several times and asked if the female clerk was scared. Kearbey initially denied that he took a gun to the office, the Highway Patrol said. But troopers were granted a search warrant and found a short-barrel shotgun under a bed in his home, Trooper Matthew B. Foster wrote.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE BIRTHDAY SUIT BOZO

Motorists along a Virginia highway got an eyeful Tuesday afternoon when a man who crashed his car stripped naked and went on a rampage, according to a report. The unidentified driver, who caused a three-vehicle crash on Route 28 near Dulles Airport around 3:30 p.m., was seen running off with nothing on his backside but the breeze, a Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority spokesman told the Loudon Times. Video shows him straddling and punching a tractor-trailer as the truck heads toward the closest exit. As they approach the Frying Pan Road exit, the man ducks to avoid getting hit by a traffic sign. The Fairfax County Police Department said the man caused damage to the truck before eventually getting off the vehicle and running from the scene.

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