Boners

Boner (Round One) for December 4th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THIS BOY IS A REPEAT OFFENDER.

A second suspect has been arrested in Liberty County for indecent exposure. Randy Earl Jones, Jr., 25, was taken into custody by the Cleveland Police Department and has been placed in Liberty County jail facing Class B misdemeanor charges for reportedly pleasuring himself in front of customers at the Walmart in Cleveland. Records show he is already on probation in San Jacinto County for the same offense. “A repeat offender for indecent exposure in Texas must register as a sex offender,” said Liberty County Attorney Matt Poston. Poston said that would be a felony if his registration is not current.

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Boner Candidate #2: FLYING OUT OF THE CAR IS PART OF THE FUN.

A terrifying tumble was caught on cameraWednesday as a passenger went flying out of a car as it spins donuts in San Francisco’s Excelsior District. The dramatic footage of a solo sideshow gone horribly wrong reinforced the dangers authorities frequently warn against at the spontaneous events involving car stunts. The clip shows a black Camaro spinning donuts when the passenger side door pops open. Somehow, the teen passenger was ejected from the moving car. He is instantly on the ground screaming in pain. The driver picked up the teenager, put him back in the car and drove off. The incident happened Wednesday just after 2 p.m. at the intersection of Excelsior Avenue and Naples Street in front of Don Chuy’s Mexican Market.

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Boner Candidate #3: SANTA CAN’T BE NAKED WHEN HE COMES DOWN THE CHIMNEY.

Police say someone on the naughty list stole a Santa suit and hat valued together at $520 from a Pennsylvania mall. State police said Sunday in a report that the theft happened between Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 at the Clearview Mall in Butler County. The report says it’s unknown who took the full Santa Claus suit and an extra hat from a back room at the mall. Police list the victim as North Pole Photo. The mall’s website says North Pole Photo provides pictures with Santa throughout the holiday season.

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