Boners

Boner (Round One) for December 5th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: LIGHTEN UP; I WAS MAKING A LITTLE JOKE

A Florida man is facing charges after he allegedly drew a “disturbing” picture — depicting an apparent mass shooting — on a student’s homework assignment, police said. Robert Paul Alexander Edwards, 33, of Mexico Beach, was arrested Friday on charges of writing threats to kill or do bodily injury after a staffer at Port St. Joe Elementary School spotted on a student’s homework assignment the troubling drawing of a burning building and several people being shot, according to the Gulf County Sheriff’s Office. “The image included two people on the ground in what appeared to be a pool of blood,” Sheriff Mike Harrison said in a statement released Friday. “The words, ‘Pew, Pew, Pew,’ were written next to the person with the gun.”

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“The image included two people on the ground in what appeared to be a pool of blood,” Sheriff Mike Harrison said in a statement released Friday. “The words, ‘Pew, Pew, Pew,’ were written next to the person with the gun.”

Boner Candidate #2: SPECIAL DELIVERY!

When Nemy Bautista arrived to his Sacramento home on Tuesday, he found what appeared to be dog poop at the bottom of his driveway. When he looked at the footage in his security camera, however, he found a dissatisfying surprise. Bautista told Fox News on Friday that instead of a puppy relieving itself, he watched a woman who was delivering a package for Amazon driving a U-Haul doing the deed. He said he was “shocked” by what he saw and immediately contacted Amazon and filed a complaint. A company representative was “shocked and thoroughly apologized,” and said that the deliverywoman worked for a third-party contractor Amazon had hired to make those deliveries.

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Boner Candidate #3: ORRIN HATCH

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