Boner Candidate #1: I SAY, DON’T WARN THEM….LET THE STUPID BASTARDS HELP THIN THE HERD.
It’s the latest social media challenge that comes with some dangerous risks: People recording themselves eating Tide laundry pods after social media memes compared the cleaning product to food. “I think it’s kind of foolish because number one, I think most of the problem comes from the coating itself…if you look at data for liquid soap ingestion, just liquid soap ingestion by itself doesn’t cause too many problems,” Dr. Joe Krug of St. Vincent Health told WXIN. A quick YouTube search returns a thread of videos showing people eating the pods and gagging. “So you’ll get burns to the skin, burns to the eye, a lot of problems that are more severe burns to the respiratory tract, burns to the esophagus,” Dr. Krug said.
Boner Candidate #2: I WAS HELPING WITH THE OPIOD CRISES.
A pharmacist has pleaded guilty in New Hampshire to tampering with customers’ pain medications, using syringes to withdraw the drugs and replacing them with saline. The US Attorney’s office in New Hampshire says 65-year-old Thomas Kellermann, of Bedford, pleaded guilty Wednesday to tampering with a consumer product and obtaining a controlled substance by fraud. He’s scheduled to be sentenced in May. Court documents say Kellermann worked at a pharmacy and began abusing narcotic pain relievers in 2011. He went on medical leave in 2012 but reportedly returned to the pharmacy after business hours and on weekends to take the drugs and replace them with saline.
Boner Candidate #3: HEY RICK! I GOT TALENT!
He was looking for “The Boss.” A wannabe rapper tried to hold up a Wingstop outlet — because he wanted to get owner Rick Ross’ attention, according to new reports. Cops on Monday arrested Memphis hip-hop hopeful Cedric Miller, 23, for the Friday night attempted robbery — and Miller then said he was just trying to get on the rap mogul’s radar, the store’s manager told WREG. Miller and another guy allegedly held the wing joint up at gunpoint, but left empty-handed after they couldn’t open the register, WREG reported at the time.
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