Boners

Boner (Round One) for June 8th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I KNOW WHERE YOU KEEP YOUR MONEY

A woman demanded money from another woman at an Arkansas home early Wednesday and later ripped off her bra and took cash she had been keeping inside it, authorities said. It happened shortly after 3 a.m. at an apartment on Hope Avenue in Jonesboro. The 55-year-old victim said the assailant, described as a black woman in her early to mid-50s, called her a derogatory term and demanded cash before grabbing her throat and wrestling her “until she ripped her bra off and took the money,” according to a Jonesboro Police Department report. The assailant took a $100 bill and a $10 bill, police said.

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Boner Candidate #2: MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

A Sears customer who went on a racist tirade about other shoppers was reportedly not kicked out of the store despite her incendiary remarks. The woman was caught on camera heckling a Latino family and an Asian employee because she was frustrated about the line at the store in New Brunswick, New Jersey, according to radio station WKXW. “Send them back to their own f—ing country!” said the woman, who incorrectly refers to the customers as Indian.

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Boner Candidate #3: CONDOMS ARE TOO MODERN FOR MIKE PENCE

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence is the perfect running mate for a candidate who has pledged to “Make America Great Again,” in other words, to pull our country back in time, as Buzzfeed reminded us on Thursday by digging up some comments Pence made back in 2002. The gist: Even the George W. Bush administration was too “modern” and “liberal” for our would-be VP. In his comments, Pence—who has pushed radically anti-women and anti-abortion legislation, as my colleague Christina Cauterucci has written—was pooh-poohing basic sexual health practices. Pence was responding to then-Secretary of State Colin Powell articulating his support for condom usage in an MTV forum. Powell said, “I think it’s important for young people, especially, to protect themselves from the possibility of acquiring any sexually transmitted disease, but especially to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS, which is a plague that is upon the face of the earth.”

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