Boners

Boner (Round One) for May 18th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I LOVE DIVERSITY….MOST DIVERSITY.

A dean at Yale University who championed cultural sensitivity has apologized for her “insensitive” Yelp reviews of restaurants, gyms and movie theaters, including hot takes on what “white trash” customers would find tasty and employees she blasted as “barely educated morons.” June Chu, dean of Yale’s Pierson College, apologized for the offending reviews, which had been circulating among students for several months, after the Yale Daily News published screenshots on Saturday. “To put it quite simply: If you are white trash, this is the perfect night out for you!” Chu wrote in one review of a Japanese restaurant. “This establishment is definitely not authentic by any stretch of any imagination and perfect for those low class folks who believe this is a real night out. Over salted and greasy food. Side note: employees are Chinese, not Japanese.”

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Boner Candidate #2: CRAB BOAT STRIP CLUB SEWAGE….EEEEWWW!

An Alaska man is resurrecting a strip club he operated on board his converted crab boat before he was convicted on waste disposal charges involving the vessel. This time, he’s billing the enterprise as a nightly protest. Darren Byler says he will begin his summer-long “First Amendment Freedom of Assembly” demonstrations Thursday on the 94-foot Wild Alaskan. He says the demonstrations will feature exotic dancers on board the boat, anchored off a harbor near the island city of Kodiak.

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Boner Candidate #3: COACH IS A CREEPER

A former Michigan school rowing coach was sentenced to 22 years in prison on Wednesday for installing hidden cameras in school locker rooms. Timothy Vallier, 31, pleaded guilty to secretly recording 62 female students at Rockford High School while they undressed, according to Michigan Live. He had faced charges of attempted sexual exploitation of children and possession of child pornography. Prosecutors said Vallier amassed 86 video recorded over the course of four years. He was arrested in July after two recent graduates, who were helping coach the rowing team, found a video camera in the team SUV with footage of girls getting undressed. Vallier apologized to the victims, some of whom he had known since they were 12 years old, news station WZZM reported.

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