Boners

Boner (Round One) for May 23rd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THE VICTIM SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT OF FIRST PUNCH

A Pennsylvania man faces charges after he mocked and then sucker-punched a person with cerebral palsy as he left a convenience store. Barry Baker, 29, of Coatesville, was charged with simple assault after a May 10 incident outside of a 7-Eleven in West Chester, Pennsylvania. Authorities said that Baker was caught on video imitating how a 22-year-old man with cerebral palsy walked from his car into the store. When the man emerged from the store, Baker continued to mock him and then punched him in the face without warning, according to news station KYW-TV.

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Boner Candidate #2: VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE AN ASS

The principal of an Oklahoma high school apologized after its yearbook featured a quotation attributed to Adolf Hitler. Students at Bishop McGuinness Catholic High School in Oklahoma City discovered the quote when they got the books earlier this month. Graduating seniors chose quotes to pair with their portraits. A quote listed above Hitler’s name says, “If you want to shine like the sun, first you have to burn like it.” Some translations of Hitler’s manifesto “Mein Kampf” include similar wording, though the author of the excerpt is disputed. It appeared in the yearbook directly below a quotation attributed to Anne Frank, the Holocaust diarist who perished in a Nazi death camp.

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Boner Candidate #3: IN RUSSIA WE HAVE PROPOSAL THAT IS ROMANTIC

It’s tough to stomach either way. A Russian man took gutsy wedding proposals to a whole new level when he sewed a ring inside his own stomach — to “surprise” his nurse girlfriend, according to a report. The unnamed man, from the Karachay-Cherkess Republic, can be seen in a bizarre proposal video as his sweetheart changes a bandage on his “stomach wound.” His girlfriend — who is dressed in a white medical coat — then spots a gold object inside his gaping cut, according to the video, which was posted on Russian social-media Web sites Monday. His stunned wife-to-be pulls the ring out with a medical tool and — after washing it — slides it on her finger. She swoons, agrees to marry him, and seals the deal with a hug.

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