Boners

Boner (Round One) for May 4th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I PRAYED ABOUT IT AND STUFF.

A Cullman woman who stomped through a car windshield yesterday told a TV station that she prayed about what to do. Barbara Emily Lowery, 24, said to ABC 33/40 after thoughtful prayer and a night of thinking, she knew smashing the window wasn’t a good idea… but she did it anyway.  Lowery was arrested Monday around 11 a.m., after police received a call about a disturbance in a furniture store parking lot off Cherokee Avenue. Culpepper said Lowery didn’t resist arrest. A video, taken by a bystander, shows Lowery standing on the hood of a car stomping on the windshield, and then smashing through the car’s sunroof. The windshield was completely destroyed.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHO CARES HOW IT HAPPENED?  I WAS INJURED ON THE JOB.

If you’re going to try and commit workers’ comp fraud, make sure that a camera isn’t directly on you filming the whole thing. Well, that’s probably advice the idiot below should have taken before she tried to trick the system. Surveillance footage busted a Fort Lauderdale woman picking up a sprinkler head that had just fallen on her desk,  and then, and get this, hit herself in the head with it to stage an on-the-job injury. A tad clever, just her plan fell down the toilet when it was all caught on film. Check out the hilarious video below.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT AIN’T OUR MAMA

This funeral home made a grave mistake. A Michigan woman’s family gathered at Swanson Funeral Home last week to say their goodbyes, but found a stranger in her casket. “I told them ‘that ain’t our mama,’” her son Maurice Dunn told news station WNEM. Dunn said the family was stunned to find another person in his mother Alice Dunn’s casket at the funeral home in Flint, Michigan. “It was a total stranger dressed in the clothing that my brother Joey [picked out] and the wig selected for our mother,” he said.

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