Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for November 14th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HE’LL VOTE RIGHT.

Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.) said Monday that he will still back GOP candidate Roy Moore, who is facing mounting allegations of sexual misconduct, in the Alabama Senate special election because Moore will “vote right” on Capitol Hill. “There are major issues facing the United States of America, deficit and debt that can lead to insolvency and bankruptcy, funding for national security, border security, abortion, appointment of Supreme Court justices — Doug Jones will vote wrong on each of those issues, Roy Moore will vote right on each of those issues,” Brooks said in a statement Monday. “That’s why I am voting for Roy Moore,” he said. Brooks had run in the GOP primary in special election for Sen. Luther Strange‘s (R-Ala.) seat. Strange was appointed to the seat after President Trump appointed Jeff Sessions as attorney general. Brooks came in third against Moore and Strange.

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Boner Candidate #2: VERY ARTISTIC AND VERY ILLEGAL

A Washington driver’s foolproof plan to cheat the Department of Licensing had one fatal flaw – it was sloppily done. Turns out details matter when one is trying to forge tabs. Wite-Out is best avoided. “There are several ways to renew your vehicles tabs,” Trooper Heather Axtman said on Twitter. “This is definitely not one of them.” The driver was stopped Monday morning in Marysville after a trooper spotted the bogus tab, Axtman said. The trooper cited the driver, who appeared to have painted over an expired tab to round out a 7 for an 8. Washington drivers can renew their tabs online through the Department of Licensing. Or by mail. Or in person. It’s one of the easiest things to do. The cost of car tabs has jumped up considerably thanks to voter-approved Sound Transit 3 transportation spending package. Wite-Out is no way out of those costs, though.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE’S JUST BEING A FAN.

While Janoris Jenkins was causing his own problems during and after the Giants’ most embarrassing loss of the season, a fan of the cornerback became a terror in the stands Sunday. The fan, wearing a white Jenkins jersey, was ejected from Levi’s Stadium in the fourth quarter of the Giants’ 31-21 defeat to the previously winless 49ers after causing a violent scene in the stands, requiring seven security guards to detain and remove him. Sitting right behind the Giants’ bench with a small New York contingent, the unruly fan began cursing at and showing the middle finger to Giants defenders as they walked back to the sideline following the 49ers’ final touchdown, which sealed their first victory — and the Giants’ eighth loss. Video footage shows the fan fighting back against the security guards, who first attempted to escort him from his seat.

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