Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for November 16th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: YOU TRY LIVING ON A TEACHER’S SALARY.

A Maryland special education teacher was busted for allegedly selling heroin at school, officials said. Monica Snee, 51, of Salisbury, was arrested Tuesday on charges that include distribution of both heroin and prescription medications on school property, news station WJLA reported. Police pulled over the Parkside High School teacher while she was leaving school grounds in Wicomico County. Her vehicle was searched and discovered to have more than 100 capsules containing heroin, hundreds of oxycodone pills and $3,000 in cash, according to WJLA. School administrators called parents to inform them of her arrest.

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Boner Candidate #2: WELL, I MIGHT MARRY SOME REALLY GOOD BACON.

One of President Donald Trump’s judicial nominees, Don Willett, said Wednesday he was just kidding that time he compared gay people’s constitutional right to marriage with a right to marry bacon. Willett, nominated for a lifetime seat on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit, told the Senate Judiciary Committee he wasn’t mocking same-sex marriage when he tweeted in April 2015 that he “could support recognizing a constitutional right to marry bacon” ― a day after the Supreme Court heard arguments in the landmark marriage equality case. In what was surely a first for the committee, Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) asked Willett why senators should believe he would respect Supreme Court precedent, if he’s confirmed as a federal judge, given that he compared marriage equality to cured pork. “You’ve equated that constitutional right to same-sex marriage, which the Supreme Court has upheld, with a constitutional right to marry bacon,” Leahy said. “I don’t think one would see that as praising Supreme Court decisions.”

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Boner Candidate #3: THE MNUCHIN’S MONEY SHOT

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and his wife look more like cartoon villains as they show off the first dollar bills bearing US Treasurer Jovita Carranza’s signature. The former Goldman Sachs executive was on hand at the Treasury bureau’s Washington printing plant to oversee the production. His wife, actress Louise Linton, tagged along for the event. She’s previously been blasted for hawking designer clothes while embarking on a taxpayer-funded flight to Fort Knox in August. During that foray, which included viewing the solar eclipse atop a mountain of gold, Linton posted an Instagram shot of her disembarking a plane while wearing a nearly $15,000 outfit and accessories by designers including Tom Ford, Hermes and Roland Mouret.

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