Boners

Boner (Round One) for November 3rd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: OKLAHOMA WHERE THE PORN IS AS HIGH AS AN ELEPHANTS EYE.

A brief scene in the 1999 film “Oklahoma!” is generating complaints against the Nebo School District after the movie was shown to students at Payson Junior High School in September. In the film — a taped version of the Rodgers and Hammerstein stage musical starring Hugh Jackman — a character is shown looking at a collection of erotic images while the camera closes in over his shoulder. “She‘s plum, stark naked as a jaybird,” Jackman’s character remarks before the camera zooms out and the scene continues. The movie was shown to students in violation of Nebo School District’s media policy, according to spokeswoman Lana Hiskey. Films shown in their entirety must be approved by a school’s principal, Hiskey said, and reviewed by the teacher. “None of those things happened,” Hiskey said.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY’RE LIKE ISIS…NO VALUE AND I’D LIKE TO BE ON THE FIRING SQUAD.

The former chief of a small township in New Jersey has been arrested on federal hate crime and civil rights charges for what federal authorities described as a pattern of racist comments and behavior — including slamming an African-American teen’s head into a metal door jamb and saying that black people are “like ISIS.” Frank Nucera Jr., 60, who had been chief of the Borden Township Police Department, was arrested Monday, and the charges against him were unsealed Tuesday. The allegations are notable for the blatant racism they describe by a law enforcement leader. According to a criminal complaint in the case, filed in federal district court in New Jersey, Nucera frequently referred to African-Americans by racial slurs and espoused violence toward them.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S IRONIC THAT HE WAS ROBBING A HOT DOG STAND.

A 19-year-old man who shot himself in the penis after allegedly holding up a South Side hot dog stand Tuesday won’t be going home when he’s released from the hospital. Terrion Pouncy remained at Christ Hospital recovering from his injuries on Thursday, missing a bond hearing at the Leighton Criminal Courthouse on two counts of armed robbery, the Chicago Sun-Times is reporting. Pouncy was arrested at the Oak Lawn hospital not long after he was found slumped on the steps of a home across the street from a West Pullman restaurant that Chicago Police say he robbed at gunpoint about 6 a.m. on Halloween. Judge Stephanie Miller ordered him held without bond.Pouncy was unable to run further because of the pain of a self-inflicted gunshot wound suffered when tried to adjust the .38-caliber pistol in his waistband as he ran off after robbing Maxwell Street Express at 116th and Halsted, Assistant Cook County State’s Attorney Erin Antonietti said in court.

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