Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for October 20th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T LIKE THAT DARK SKIN? NIVEA IS FOR YOU.

Nivea has become embroiled in a race row after an “appalling” face cream ad that promises “visibly lighter skin” for black women. The beauty brand is advertising its new Natural Fairness moisturizer to women living in Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon and Senegal. Billboards show former Miss Nigeria Omowunmi Akinnifesi using the moisturizer to lighten her skin. The German company also have a TV ad for the product showing a black model’s skin becoming lighter after she applies the cream. People have taken to social media to express their outrage and disgust that they should want “fairer”s kin, and have been using the hashtag #PULLITDOWN to demand the removal of the adverts.

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Boner Candidate #2: HOLLYWOOD DRINKS THE BLOOD OF CHILDREN

Rodney Howard-Browne, a Christian preacher who bragged about putting his hands on Donald Trump in prayer to thwart an attack against the President (only to reveal no details at all when asked about it by the Secret Service), is back with his latest conspiracy theory. He claims Hollywood bigwigs feast on the blood of children… that is, when they’re not molesting the kids. “They sacrifice children at the highest levels in Hollywood,” Howard-Browne declared. “They drink blood of young kids. This is a fact. That is why the next thing to be exposed will be all the pedophilia that is going to come out of Hollywood and out of Washington, D.C. The human sacrifice and the cannibalism has been going on for years. Some of you say, ‘Oh, they don’t do that.’ It’s worse than what you think. You remember when the whole spirit cooking thing came out? That’s commonplace, ladies and gentlemen. And many of the Hollywood actors that you go see on a screen, what you don’t know [is] they bring a witch, they do a big seance right there on the set and they worship devils and they allow devils to come into them before they take the part of what they’re going to act. It’s a fact what I am telling you.”

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Boner Candidate #3: GRANNY, YOU ARE FIRED

An octogenarian Walmart worker was apparently fired for very a ‘petit’ offense — pocketing a dollar bill that someone dropped on the store floor, according to a reports. Frankie Ruffino, 84, of Texas worked as a greeter at a Walmart in Brenham for nearly a decade, but was fired from the gig the day after she found the buck, she told KHOU.com. “I found a dollar bill on the floor, just one dollar bill,” Ruffino recalled to the news outlet, adding that she discovered the single bill lying in the aisle as she was getting ready to close up. Ruffino picked up the bill and put it on her walker before she went home that night, she said. The next day her managers asked to see her. The manager asked: “‘Did you find some money yesterday?’ I said ‘yes, I picked up a dollar bill, here it is right there,’” said Ruffino. The following day Ruffino was hit with a crushing blow. “She said, ‘I need your badge and your vest,’” the grandmother said. “‘You have been let go because of your integrity.’”

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