Boner Candidate #1: BRO,HE’S BLACK….FUNNIEST THING EVER.
A University of Florida sorority girl can be heard bragging about slapping a pledge for kissing a black man in a damning audio clip. The recording, which was leaked by an anonymous Kappa Alpha Theta sister, revealed the chapter’s demeaning hazing rituals, The Tab reported. In the clip, a chapter member identified as Rya Carroll described how one pledge was forced to give a lap dance while blindfolded, according to the report. She recalled how the pledge started kissing one of six guys who had been tasked with hazing them at the Gainesville college.
Boner Candidate #2: DORM DEFECATOR
Laundry day is extra crappy for students at an Illinois college — where a fecal fiend has turned the school’s washing machines into his own personal toilet. At least eight college kids have found their clothing covered in poop in a laundry room at the Abbott Hall dorm at Southern Illinois University, according to the campus newspaper, the Daily Egyptian. “Now I’m, like, terrified,” said Khiyah Ransom, a sophomore who lives in the building. “I was really upset about it, just wondering who’s doing this pooping.” The serial deuce dropper often targets wet laundry inside machines when students leave their clothing unattended, according to the paper.
Boner Candidate #3: WAIT! I DON’T HAVE A BABY DO I?
Police say an absent-minded shopper at a Maine grocery store took somebody else’s cart with a sleeping baby inside, causing a lockdown and a police investigation. Portland police say the shopper was mortified when he realized his mistake but didn’t bother to alert anyone on Friday. Instead, the shopper left the cart in another part of the store and retrieved his own cart. Police say store video backs up his claim. Police Chief Michael Sauschuck says grocery store staff quickly locked down the store. Police determined the conduct didn’t warrant criminal charges.
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