Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for September 18th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: TRYING TO PUMP A LITTLE IRON

A man who stuck his penis in a dumbbell weight spent three hours surrounded by firefighters who sliced him free with power tools. Angle grinders, a saw and a hydraulic rescue tool usually used to prize crash victims from vehicle wreckage were used to smash the 2.5kg disc on Friday. This was after doctors were unable to remove the weight following the mishap at a gym in Worms, Germany. The victim had to be sedated as firefighters from the city of Worms smashed the weight to free his penis, according to Metro. Firefighters shared a picture of the smashed weight on social media with some helpful advice for anybody tempted to squeeze their manhood into tight spots, saying: ‘Please do not imitate such actions!’

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Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS EITHER SPANK HER, OR SCARE HER WITHIN AN INCH OF HER LIFE

An Ohio man has been charged after chasing his 6-year-old daughter around a neighborhood while wearing a clown mask and another man is charged for firing a gun. Police say the girl first jumped into a stranger’s car and then ran into a stranger’s apartment while screaming that a clown was chasing her in Boardman Township on Saturday night. Police say a man in the apartment building came outside and fired a gunshot into the ground. The father told police he chased his daughter to discipline her for behavioral issues instead of spanking her. He’s been charged with child endangering and inducing panic. Police say the man who fired the gunshot has been charged with using weapons while intoxicated.

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Boner Candidate #3: WANNA HAVE SOME FUN? LET’S GO OUT SNAKE CATCHIN’

A man out catching snakes for fun ended up getting bit twice on his face and neck. “I wasn’t thinking,” Victor Pratt said. “Instead of being a father, I was being a buddy.” Pratt has been humbled by his experience earlier this month while celebrating his son’s birthday in Coolidge. “I’ve been catching rattlesnakes since I was about 8 years old because we had nothing else to do back in the day,” Pratt said. And that’s what he was doing with his sons that night – trying to catch rattlesnakes. “I know how to cook them and cut the heads off and stuff,” Pratt said. “They taste like chicken. Actually, it’s not bad.” But the snake bit Pratt twice in his face and neck. “It makes your mind smash, like it’s getting smashed,” he said.

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