Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for September 1st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: MOMMY NEEDS TO WAKE UP

Police have released the recording of a 911 call made by a 4-year-old girl from the backseat of her family’s van with her mother unconscious from a possible overdose. “I tried to wake mommy up and, um, she wouldn’t wake up,” the child told the 911 dispatcher in the edited recording released Wednesday. The girl was found by a passerby crying in the van, which had the windows rolled up and the ignition off, while her mother was unconscious, the Palm Beach Post reports. “I don’t know if she is sleeping,” the passerby told the 911 dispatcher, according to the Orlando Sentinel. “But one baby girl is here and she’s crying and she wants to go to school, she told me.” “The baby, she told me call the police,” Rivera said before passing the phone to the girl.

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Boner Candidate #2: STOP. STOP. I DID NOTHING WRONG.

A nurse says she was assaulted and illegally arrested by a Salt Lake City police detective for following a hospital policy that does not allow blood draws from unconscious patients. Footage from University Hospital and officer body cameras shows Detective Jeff Payne and nurse Alex Wubbels in a standoff over whether the policeman should be allowed to get a blood sample from a patient who had been injured in a July 26 collision in northern Utah that left another driver dead. Wubbels says blood cannot be taken from an unconscious patient unless the patient is under arrest, unless there is a warrant allowing the draw or unless the patient consents. The detective acknowledges in the footage that none of those requirements is in place, but he insists that he has the authority to obtain the draw, according to the footage. At one point, Payne threatens to take Wubbels to jail if he doesn’t get the sample, and he accuses her of interfering with a criminal case. “I either go away with blood in vials or body in tow,” Payne says. After Wubbels consults with several hospital officials and repeats the policy, Payne tells her she is under arrest and grabs her, pulling her arms behind her back and handcuffing her. The footage shows the detective dragging Wubbels out of the hospital and putting her inside a patrol car as she screams, “Help! Help! Somebody help me! Stop! Stop! I did nothing wrong!”

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Boner Candidate #3: GET OFF MY ROAD

According to his arrest report, William Markham lives across the street from Micanopy Cooperative School on Northwest 2nd Avenue and has complained several times about parents parking on the street outside his house while they wait to pick up their children. According to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office, Markham came out of his home Tuesday, shirtless and armed with a rifle, and told the parents in front of his home to “get off my road.” Deputies said the principal and staff reacted quickly and offered the parents shelter inside the school building with their children until sheriff’s deputies could arrive.

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