Boner Candidate #1: THE LAME-STREAM MEDIA HATES MY DAD
President Donald Trump said Thursday he would donate $1 million of his own money to the Hurricane Harvey relief effort, a gesture that his son Eric Trump used to attack CNN. When retweeting a Fox News story about the president’s pledge Thursday night, Eric added a message asking if CNN or the mainstream media would “acknowledge this incredible generosity.” “My guess: they wont,” he added. Unfortunately for the president’s second-oldest son, he guessed wrong. In addition to the announcement being widely covered following White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ briefing, CNN covered the news on air and online three hours before Eric Trump sent his tweet.
Boner Candidate #2: WE PICKED THE WRONG BAR TO ROB
Two would-be armed robbers bungled an attempt to rip off a Maryland bar when they walked into police retirement party Tuesday evening, according to The Baltimore Sun. The officers were celebrating the career of a veteran sergeant at Monaghan’s Pub in Woodlawn when Joseph McInnis III, 21, and Tyree McCoy, 22, walked in around 5:30 p.m., according to the paper. The masked duo allegedly demanded money from the register and ran out. Several off-duty officers followed them down the street and arrested McInnis and McCoy not far from the pub. Both face charges of armed robbery, theft and related offenses. “I’m sure that they weren’t planning on there being a large room filled with police officers,” Baltimore County police Officer Jennifer Peach told WBAL.
Boner Candidate #3: NICOTINE REVENGE
A chef in India who was diagnosed with throat cancer was accused of killing his co-worker for introducing him to cigarettes, according to a report. Mustakeem Ahmad, 25, told cops that he was so enraged with the victim after receiving the grim diagnosis that he bought a pistol, the Hindustan Times reported. The victim, identified only as Inayat, 25, worked at the restaurant in Uttam Nagar owned by Ahmad’s brother-in-law. “Though Ahmad and Inayat were friends at the workplace, Inayat was reportedly better at his job and well-behaved and soon became the favorite of the restaurant owner,” Deputy Police Commissioner Shibesh Singh said.
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