Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for August 18th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: LOGIC AND PROPORTION HAVE FALLEN SLOPPY DEAD

According to Crestview police, a 32-year old Freeport man is in custody following a Saturday night rampage. The rampage caused more than $100,000 in damage to the liquor store under construction at the Crestview Wal-mart and to construction equipment. Around 9:10 p.m. the suspect, Mathew Horace Jones, used a forklift to damage the building under construction. According to police, Jones allegedly broke into the fenced-in construction site on the north side of the Ferdon Boulevard South using a JCB extendable forklift parked at the job site. The building under construction was destroyed. Additionally, the suspect damaged a city fire hydrant and a 2-inch water meter worth about $3,200.

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Boner Candidate #2: SUCH A TENDER ROMANTIC GUY

OkCupid has banned white supremacist Chris Cantell from their dating site after a Vice News documentary about the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, featured him expressing his violently racist views. Gizmodo first learned of OKCupid’s decision from a now-deleted tweet by Vice News social editor Rex Santus. OkCupid confirmed to Gizmodo that the company had removed Cantwell, with a statement from CEO Elie Seidma: “OkCupid has zero tolerance for racism. We make a lot of decision every day that are tough. Banning Christopher Cantwell was not one of them.”

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Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE SHE’S A MERMAID

A Florida fisherman got quite the catch Tuesday — but it happened to be an intoxicated 22-year-old woman instead of a prized fish, according to police. Authorities were called to the St. Johns County Pier at 6 p.m. after a fisherman said a woman bit his fishing line and swam off with his lure, Action News Jax reported. The fisherman told deputies that Alexandria Turner, 22, appeared to be intoxicated when she swam up to his fishing line and cursed at him, according to a police report. The 22-year-old woman then allegedly bit the fishing line and swam away with the rigging.

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