Boners

Boner (Round Two) for December 8th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HE HAS A GUN! SHOTS FIRED!

OREM — A man who thought he could get police to respond to his house faster if he told them there was an active shooter inside is now facing a felony charge. The 53-year-old Orem man was charged this week with emergency report abuse, a third-degree felony. On July 3, the man called 911 to report “there was a person in his residence that ‘had a gun and wanted to kill two people,’ and that ‘shots had been fired,'” according to charging documents. Based on that call, police responded in “emergency fashion,” charges state, expecting to find an active shooter.”When the officers arrived, the (man) advised them that there had only been a loud domestic argument, and that no gun was involved, nor shots fired. He told the officer that he had made these statements to the 911 operator in order to get the police to respond quicker, and that he had done this before and saw no problem with it,” according to court documents.

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Boner Candidate #2: HICKORY TAVERN HAS HAD A CHANGE OF HEART

A restaurant worker in North Carolina was fired after he shared a picture of a customer’s anti-gay receipt on Facebook. A server, identified only as Justin S., posted a photo of a receipt where a customer had written in the margins, “Our gay waiter made me wanna(sic) throw up my food! Ruined my experience tongt(sic). Will not Be back!” Over the customer’s name, Justin wrote, “Please read the ignorance.” The photo started to gain attention once he published it and eventually was seen by his employer, Hickory Tavern – a small chain of restaurants established in three states in the south. The restaurant informed Justin that he had violated a companywide policy that prohibits employees from posting credit card receipts online. “We value the privacy of our patrons, and posting of credit card receipts violates our confidentiality policy,” Hickory Tavern said in a statement to The Charlotte Observer.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHAT WOULD YOU ALL DO?

A Connecticut man is behind bars after he had sex with his dead girlfriend — in the hope it would wake her up, according to reports. Aaron Graser, 39, was sentenced to a year in prison for fourth-degree sexual assault of a corpse on Tuesday, the Hartford Courant reported. Cops found Graser’s girlfriend dead in their apartment and surrounded by needles back in January, the paper reported. Graser told police that he found her unresponsive with heroin and drug paraphernalia in her lap — and decided sex would be the best way to rouse her because she didn’t like sleeping with him. “Aaron stated he listened to see if the victim was breathing and he heard gurgling. Aaron stated he knew the victim hated having sex with him so he figured that the victim might wake up if he had sex with her,” a warrant for Graser’s arrest read. He also admitted tying her ankles and wrists to the bedposts because it was one of his kinks.

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