Boner Candidate #1: TOO DRUNK TO AIM
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Frequent flyer tip: if you’re going to use the airplane bathroom, take good aim. Otherwise, you might be grounded. Flight attendants say Dante Bencivenga left a mess and urine all over the floor of the bathroom on a Spirit Airlines flight before takeoff Thursday night. According to WBBH TV, the 58-year-old was escorted off the plane and charged with trespassing and disorderly intoxication. He also was banned from Southwest Florida International Airport for one year. Bencivenga said he wasn’t intoxicated, but crew members said he became belligerent when they tried to book him on a later flight, and refused to leave the concourse even after police threatened to arrest him for trespassing.
Boner Candidate #2: YEP! I AM A LUNK-HEAD.
Snow stopped a North Dakota man from escaping after he shoplifted $4,000 worth of merchandise from a Hobby Lobby store Wednesday. Police say that Dustin Johnson, 22, spent seven hours filling up a shopping cart with thousands of dollars worth of products. He wheeled the cart of stolen goods out of the store but it got stuck in the snow and tipped over. Johnson tripped, abandoned the cart and fled the store on foot, police said, Grand Forks Herald reported.
Boner Candidate #3: GAH-HILK!
It’s about as stuck as stuck can be: a couple of guys testing out a new four-wheel drive Chevy drove over a frozen pond and ended up stuck in sand, ice, and mud on Chouteau Island, just north of Interstate 270 in Madison County, Illinois. Things got even worse. “When the lake goes dry in the winter, there’s a lot of temptation for guys to think they can just come out here and go four-wheeling,” said Austin Opp of the Chain of Rocks Recreation Corp. The group owns the property and uses it for water skiing practice. “This is the worst I’ve ever seen out here. Nobody’s usually dumb enough to try to go out on the lake and he did,” Opp said. The truck’s owner told Fox2/News 11 a friend was driving just before sunrise on New Year’s Day; they thought the frozen pond was a frozen field.
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