Boners

Boner (Round Two) for September 15th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T MAKE ME SEND YOU TO THE SPIDER CLOSET

The principal of a charter school in Louisiana is wanted by police after they say he locked a 5-year-old girl inside a “nasty and gross” school closet crawling with spiders and roaches. Shafeeq Sayid Shamsid-Deen, 31, has been suspended from Laurel Oaks Charter School in Baton Rouge and is expected to be arrested on charges of cruelty to a juvenile — a felony — and false imprisonment for locking the young student in the closet on Aug. 22,  according to an arrest warrant issued Monday obtained by WBRZ. Three teachers found the little girl after hearing her screams and tracking her to the cafeteria broom closet — where she was locked in from the outside, the station reported.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHAT I ORDERED WAS A HUMANE NECK BREAKING

Authorities in Georgia arrested the former director of the Albany Humane Society on a charge of animal cruelty. Andy Sartiano, 54, was arrested Wednesday morning after being accused of giving an employee orders to break a cat’s neck as a form of euthanasia, according to WALB. According to Dianne Barlow, president of the Albany Humane Society’s Board of Directors, Sartiano was fired from her position last month because “she did not perform her duties.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WE HAVE TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF MUSLIM MONEY

An Iraqi-American man in Kansas says his family is living in fear after he, his wife and their 15-year-old daughter were detained for several hours after he tried to deposit a $151,000 check. The racially charged ordeal has made Sattar Ali reconsider his move to Wichita after moving to the area to pursue his doctoral degree in mechanical engineering, he told The Wichita Eagle. “Honestly at this time we are afraid of anyone who knocks on our door,” Ali told the newspaper. “We don’t know when the police will come … I’ve lived in the states for almost 30 years, and I’ve never experienced that. We are living in fear.”

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