Round One
Boner Candidate #1: WE’VE MADE SURE THE RICH ARE KEEPIN THEIR MONEY, NOW WE’RE COMIN FOR YOU.
After instituting a $1.5 trillion tax cut and signing off on a $675 billion budget for the Department of Defense, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the only way to lower the record-high federal deficit would be to cut entitlement programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security. “It’s disappointing, but it’s not a Republican problem,” McConnell said of the deficit, which grew 17 percent to $779 billion in fiscal year 2018. McConnell explained to Bloomberg that “it’s a bipartisan problem: Unwillingness to address the real drivers of the debt by doing anything to adjust those programs to the demographics of America in the future.” The deficit has increased 77 percent since McConnell became majority leader in 2015. New Treasury Department analysis on Monday revealed that corporate tax cuts had a significant impact on the deficit this year. Federal revenue rose by 0.04 percent in 2018, a nearly 100 percent decrease on last year’s 1.5 percent. In fiscal year 2018, tax receipts on corporate income fell to $205 billion from $297 billion in 2017.
Boner Candidate #2: THE BOOBY WAS, INDEED, TRAPPED.
CLEVELAND COUNTY, N.C. – A North Carolina man who booby-trapped his backdoorwith a shotgun shot himself when he opened the door, according to deputies. WCNC reported that the 68-year-old man seriously injured himself with his own booby trap at about 11:30 a.m. Monday at his Cleveland County home. “I’ve never seen anything quite like this,” Capt. Jon Wright, with the Cleveland County Sheriff’s Office, told the Gaston Gazette. Deputies said the shotgun went off after the man opened the door to feed some squirrels, hitting him in the arm. An arriving deputy used a tactical tourniquet on the man. Authorities say the trap was just one of many that had been rigged around the property, according to WBTV. Deputies said the man was taken to Atrium Health in Shelby and will likely be flown Charlotte.
Boner Candidate #3: IT WAS A SET UP.
A Brooklyn man’s estranged wife set up him and his autistic brother to be robbed in a home invasion, the victim and police sources said. After roughly 10 years of marriage, Ronald Anderson, 41, and Millie Castro, 27, split about six months ago, Anderson said. The split took an ugly turn Saturday when Castro and her cousin stopped by Anderson’s Livonia Avenue home to pick up her clothes, he said. That’s when three men “burst” into his apartment, one with a gun, Anderson told police. “So I’m tussling with the other two guys while the third guy hit my brother with his fists,” he said. “Who hits an autistic guy?” The creeps eventually fled with a black lock-box containing about $500 and valuables — including Anderson’s wedding ring. Neither Anderson nor his brother was seriously harmed. As of Sunday, the three thieves hadn’t been arrested, cops said.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: I GUESS IT WOULD BE BAD….FOR THE IRANIANS.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) weighed in on what a DNA test could potentially reveal about his ancestry on Tuesday’s “Fox & Friends,” awkwardly quipping: “I’ll probably be Iranian. That would be like terrible.” Graham’s comments come after Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) made the results of a DNA test she took public on Monday. Warren’s results included an expert saying they show “strong evidence’’ that she has a Native American ancestor. President Donald Trump has been asking for Warren’s DNA results, claiming that the senator was lying about her ancestral connection to Native Americans. Graham said he’d take a test of his own, prompting him to make the comments on Iranians. “Fox & Friends” host Brian Kilmeade followed up Graham’s assertion by saying Iranians are “great people, just bad leaders.”
Boner Candidate #2: WELL THAT WAS FAST.
Well, that was fast. Just five days—and two of those days were weekend days—after her appointment as interim president and CEO of USA Gymnastics was announced, Mary Bono, a former Republican congresswoman from California, has announced she’s resigning from the post. Almost since the moment she was appointed on Friday, there has been controversy. Bono was a former principal at Faegre Baker Daniels, a firm which helped USA Gymnastics hide why Larry Nassar was not attending gymnastics events in late 2015 while the nonprofit quietly investigated allegations of sexual abuse that Maggie Nichols had made. But this part of the story did not get nearly as much attention as did Bono’s tweet from September, in which she used a marker to blacken the Nike swoosh on her golf shoes to show her disapproval of the brand featuring Colin Kaepernick in its latest advertising campaign.
Boner Candidate #3: COOKIES OF THE DEAD
Two students accused of baking cookies with human ashes and feeding them to classmates won’t face criminal charges, according to authorities in California. “We’re letting the school handle the matter with the juveniles and the families,” Lt. Paul Doroshov of the Davis Police Department told HuffPost. “It’s basically, under California penal code, a public nuisance.” Authorities launched an investigation into the case earlier this month, after a school resource officer at Da Vinci Charter Academy High School in Davis was told two students used cremated human remains as an ingredient in a batch of sugar cookies passed out on campus. “There were claims that the cookies they baked contained one of [the students’] grandparents cremated ashes,” Doroshov explained. “Approximately nine students consumed the cookies but there were no reports of physical ailments.”
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