Boners

Boners for December 20, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THE RAPEY PAT DOWN.

On Friday night CNN Political Commentator Angela Rye was flying from Detroit to New York. During what should have been a routine TSA security check, she was forced to endure an invasive “vaginal pat down.” The writer and commentator wrote that she was going through security at Detroit’s Metro Airport to fly to New York when ― even though she has TSA Precheck status and is a CLEAR traveler ― she was told she was randomly selected for additional screening. After going through the backscatter machine, she was told that the female TSA agent would do “a backhanded pat around the upper thigh.”

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Boner Candidate #2: COME ON WHO DOESN’T LOVE CHEESEBURGER FLAT BREAD?

School officials have apologized after a parent complained about lunch served to her child at a Duval County elementary school. A parent sent Action News Jax a photo of a cheeseburger flatbread served for lunch at Atlantic Beach Elementary School on Wednesday. A spokesperson for Duval County Public Schools said the meal is not representative of the quality of food that is provided for students.

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Boner Candidate #3: DAMN DOG GOT IN THE WAY OF ONE OF THEM VOLES.

A man who killed his dog by firing a gun into his backyard from inside his living room is being investigated by Tooele police, according to a search warrant unsealed in 3rd District Court. As of Monday, the man had not been arrested or charged. On Nov. 29, police responded to reports of shots fired at a Tooele home. When they arrived, they found a deceased black Labrador and an “upset” homeowner, the warrant affidavit states. The homeowner told officers he “routinely shoots a pellet gun at voles in the yard,” the warrant states. “He said … he was shooting from the living room area toward the backyard through an open door. He said the dog was running around the yard and ran in front of the door at the same time he shot.”

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