Boners

Boners (Round One and Two) for March 19th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: WE WERE SO SICK. I KNOW WE DIDN’T LOOK SICK, BUT WE WERE SO SICK.

A couple who demanded thousands of pounds in compensation after they caught food poisoning on holiday were caught after posting poolside selfies online. Chelsea Devine, 21, and Jamie Melling, 22, from Liverpool, claimed they were ill for weeks after eating and drinking during their ten day all-inclusive trip to Benidorm in Spain. But a judge found them ‘fundamentally dishonest’ and ordered them to pay holiday operator Tui £15,000 – a record amount for costs awarded against a fraudulent claim of holiday sickness. Liverpool County Court heard how the pair were caught out after posting photos of their holiday at the Levante Beach Apartments in September 2015 on Facebook. But in May 2016, they submitted identical claims, each demanding £2,500 in compensation. Bogus claims for holiday sickness compensation have rocketed since the Government clamped down on fraudulent accident whiplash claims. There have been widespread fears that payouts for fake holiday bug claims will increase prices for honest tourists.

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Boner Candidate #2: I AM AN F’…ING JUDGE.

Wilfredo Benitez was passed out in the driver’s seat of his silver BMW hatchback at 2:13 a.m. with his hazard lights flashing along the shoulder of Route 80, records show. Two New Jersey state troopers who found his vehicle on the stretch of highway in Teaneck quickly began to suspect he was drunk. Benitez struggled with the field sobriety test, according to a police report, but insisted he wasn’t a “drug addict” or “a drunk.” He was “a f–king judge,” he said. Newly obtained video shows Benitez — a municipal judge in East Orange, Belleville and Bloomfield — repeatedly told the two troopers about his position before they cuffed him on suspicion of drunken driving. He then told the trooper reading him his rights that he was “being a d–k,” the video shows. Police later administered a breath test that found Benitez’s blood-alcohol level was twice the legal limit, but the court case against the judge fell apart because of flaws in the investigation, NJ Advance Media has learned.

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Boner Candidate #3: I DON’T LIKE HIM EITHER, BUT NO, NO, NO.

A student carrying a flag emblazoned with the word “Trump” was assaulted outside a high school in Minneapolis during Wednesday’s national school walkout, police said. The unidentified flag-waving student was confronted by two classmates at Southwest High School as students gathered outside early Wednesday to protest gun violenceafter a shooting that left 17 people dead at a Florida high school last month, WCCO reports. Six other students then joined the skirmish — which occurred across the street from the school — and took the flag from the victim. He suffered minor injuries and his camera was damaged, according to the station.Police said a school resource officer intervened and stopped the confrontation. No arrests had been made as of late Wednesday, WCCO reports.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: D’OH!

Homer Simpson has done a lot of stupid stuff over the years, but even he would think twice about this daring con involving his visage. An unidentified driver in England attempted to pass off Homer’s license as his own. According to the Thames Valley police, one of their officers stopped a driver in Milton Keynes for a traffic infraction. The officer followed standard procedure and asked the driver for a driver’s license. When she did, the driver handed her a fake license featuring Homer Simpson’s name and, in perhaps the boldest part of the whole con, an animated picture of the character making his famous “D’oh!” face. The image, which wouldn’t even fool Chief Clancy Wiggum, can be seen below. In a tweet sharing the odd encounter with followers, the department noted that the driver’s car was seized and he was reported for driving with no insurance and driving without a proper license.

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Boner Candidate #2: JUST LET THE KID HAVE HIS MERIT BADGES.

PAYSON, Utah — A family is suing the Boy Scouts of America, claiming the organization discriminated against their 15-year-old son who has low functioning Down Syndrome and autism. Logan Blythe has spent years completing as many tasks as possible to earn the rank of Eagle Scout. His sash is filled with more than 20 merit badges he’s earned. In November, the Utah National Parks Council approved Logan’s Eagle Scout rank.“When we actually got the approval, he was so elated and the three people that approved it actually took pictures of it because he was so happy and overjoyed,” said Chad Blythe, Logan’s father. He tells FOX 13, just a day later, it was taken away. “We contacted national, and national said, no,” Chad Blythe said. Logan’s low functioning Down syndrome prevents him from doing some of the tasks the Boy Scouts require to earn the Eagle Scout rank. His father described how Logan’s disability impacts his efforts to earn the swimming badge.

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Boner Candidate #3: HA! HA!

SALT LAKE CITY –  Salt Lake City police are looking for a man accused of pulling up yard signs and pulling a gun on a neighbor who confronted him. Around 2:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon, police received reports of a man going up and down F Street in Salt Lake City’s Avenues. A neighbor posted on a neighborhood watch app that the man was ripping out yard signs in support of Planned Parenthood. When someone confronted the man, the situation quickly escalated. “Our suspect pulled out a gun and pointed it at him,” Salt Lake Police Lt. Russ Amott said.  “He didn’t say anything, he just kinda laughed and turned around, ran southbound towards South Temple, that’s where he was last seen.”

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