Boners

Boners (Round One and Two) for March 26th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1:WELL YEAH BUT WE’LL DO IT ANOTHER WAY.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin called on Congress Sunday to give President Trump a line-item veto despite the Supreme Court ruling 20 years ago that the practice was unconstitutional. Mnuchin, during an appearance on “Fox News Sunday,” argued that the veto tool would give Trump negotiating power over Democrats in case they want more non-defense spending in the next budget. “I think they should give the president a line-item veto,” said Mnuchin, reiterating comments Trump made last Friday when he signed the omnibus spending bill. “That was ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court,” anchor Chris Wallace reminded Mnuchin.

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Boner Candidate #2: COULDN’T YOU JUST GO FOR A RUN INSTEAD?

A Rotorua man has admitted telling a woman he had been forced to drink poison and would die unless she performed certain sexual acts on him within 48 hours. The 24-year-old pleaded guilty in the Rotorua District Court on Friday to sexual connection induced by threat and male assaults female. He will be sentenced on May 25. The police summary of facts states the man went to the woman’s home, “red faced and bent over holding his ribs” and told her he had been beaten up and forced to drink a vial of toxin. He told her he would die unless he didn’t sweat it out within 48 hours. She suggested he go for a run but he said that wouldn’t work as he had to sweat it out in a “particular way”. He told her there was no antidote as the person who beat him up was flying overseas.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHY DON’T YOU KIDS TAKE A CPR CLASS?

Washington (CNN)CNN commentator and former Pennsylvania GOP Sen. Rick Santorum on Sunday suggested students protesting for gun control legislation would be better served by taking CPR classes and preparing for active shooter scenarios. “How about kids instead of looking to someone else to solve their problem, do something about maybe taking CPR classes or trying to deal with situations that when there is a violent shooter that you can actually respond to that,” Santorum said on CNN’s “State of the Union.” Santorum’s comments came a day after protesters assembled at March for Our Lives events in Washington and across the country to demand gun control legislation in the wake of the deadly school shooting in Parkland, Florida.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1:WE AIN’T WORRIED; WE GOT ROCKS.

A rural school district in Pennsylvania is arming teachers and students with buckets of rocks as a last resort should an armed intruder burst in, the superintendent said Friday. Every classroom in the district about 90 miles northwest of Philadelphia has a 5-gallon bucket of river stones, said Blue Mountain School District Superintendent David Helsel. “We always strive to find new ways to keep our students safe,” Helsel told The Associated Press in a telephone interview, adding that the rocks are one small part of the district’s overall security plan. Throwing rocks is more effective than just crawling under desks and waiting, and it gives students and teachers a chance to defend themselves, he said. The district has about 2,700 students at three elementary schools, a middle school and a high school.

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Boner Candidate #2: HE LACKED PROPER PARENTAL JUDGEMENT

An Instagram video showing a father complete a bungee swing jump while holding his 2-year-old daughter is the subject of serious flak online. In the footage, Redha Rozlan, a Malaysian reality star, is shown standing on a bridge in Kuala Kuba Bharu. He pats his 2-year-old daughter’s back reassuringly as a man yells, “Three … two … one.” Suddenly, without warning, the pair is pulled backwards off the bridge, and the little girl, called Mecca Mikaela, clasps onto her father’s shoulders instinctively as they drop 196 feet into the gorge below. It’s enough to turn an adult’s legs to jelly — let alone a small child.

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Boner Candidate #3: OR WAS HE JUST BEING A DOUCHE?

Police say the man wasn’t breaking the law. He just walked into a convenience store to get a drink. But he did it with a rifle strapped to his shoulder. A 21-year-old man walked into a Maverik gas station, 9217 Ranches Parkway in Eagle Mountain, on March 14 carrying an AR-15 along with a handgun in a holster on his side, both visible to the public. The man did not make any threats and did not point his weapons at anyone, said Utah County Sheriff’s Sgt. Spencer Cannon. He told deputies he was “exercising his Second Amendment right and open carrying to promote gun awareness.” Yet nearby Rockwell Charter High School and Black Ridge Elementary were temporarily locked down while deputies responded to the store to figure out what was going on.

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