Boner of the Day

Boners (Rounds One and Two) for March 12th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: WE DIDN’T HAVE A PILLOW, SO I IMPROVISED

n yet another case of medical negligence in Uttar Pradesh, the severed leg of a victim was allegedly used at Maharani Laxmi Bai Medical College in Jhansi as a pillow to prop him up. The victim claimed that hospital staff used his amputated leg under his head as a pillow. After the case came to light, Maharani Laxmi Bai Medical College principal Sadhna Kaushik assured strict action against those found guilty. “He was given immediate medical aid. The doctor looked for something to raise his head. Patient’s attendant used the leg for the same. We’ve set up a committee. Strict action will be taken if our staff is found to be at fault,” she added. She also informed that a four-member committee was constituted to find out who put the severed leg under the patient’s head. Two doctors and two nurses have been suspended while a departmental enquiry has been ordered against one doctor in the medical negligence case.

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Boner Candidate #2: AH, MISTER HANNITY

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Boner Candidate #3: WOW YOUR DRIVING EXAMS ARE WEIRD

A woman who was forced to view sexually explicit photos of her driving examiner has filed a lawsuit against the Iowa Department of Transportation. The 49-year-old said the DOT was negligent in hiring instructor John Alexander, with whom she was paired for a driver’s license test at the Ankeny DOT station in February 2016. Records show Alexander instructed her to pull into a parking lot at Mills Fleet Farm for a smoke break, handed her his phone and instructed her to delete several photos of his penis. He then forced her to view a video of him masturbating while making comments about her breasts and his sexual history. Attorneys said Alexander showed the woman as many as 10 vulgar images and videos. “She’s all alone in the parking lot; she has no way to get help,” Carlson said. Alexander gave her a passing score but threatened her to keep quiet. She nonetheless reported the half-hour incident to police. “When we heard the facts about what had happened to her, it was shocking,” attorney Katie Carlson said. “It was really important to her and to us to make sure something like this never happens again.” Alexander, 62, was fired, pleaded guilty to felony misconduct, and was sentenced to probation. The lawsuit accuses DOT of being negligent in hiring Alexander and allowing him to be secluded with customers.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: HE PAYED THEM AND TRANSPORTED THEM

A Michigan judge is facing charges after allegedly paying for prostitutes. Monroe County District Judge Jarod Calkins was arraigned Friday following a State Police investigation uncovered evidence that a man matching the 41-year-old’s description was paying women for sexual activity at a hotel. State Attorney General Bill Schuette’s office charged Calkins with four counts of hiring women for the purpose of prostitution and with one count of transporting a person for that purpose. The latter accusation carries a felony sentence of up to 20 years in prison. The alleged trysts occurred in Monroe Township and prompted reports to police. Other 1st District Court judges have disqualified themselves from further proceedings in the case.

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Boner Candidate #2: OUT OF THE WAY! MOVE IT!

This convicted felon in Florida learned it’s probably best not to honk at cops — especially when there’s drugs, multiple weapons and loads of cash in your car. Rance Shannon, 27, reportedly got officers’ attention Wednesday morning when he started impatiently blaring his car horn while emergency responders worked at a traffic accident in Gainesville, according to the Gainesville Sun. Police approached his vehicle which they said reeked of marijuana. Shannon was also allegedly belligerent and appeared to be impaired. He was asked to exit the vehicle since he was trying to drive away, according to police. Officers then discovered a loaded 9mm magazine, $10,400 cash and a 4-inch knife on his person, according to the Gainseville Sun. Inside the vehicle, on the floor of the passenger seat, authorities said they found an AR-15, five Mason jars full with 263.8 grams of marijuana, hash resin, 94.5 grams of cocaine, 11.6 grams of amphetamine powder, 16.5 Xanax pills and an Oxycodone pill.

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Boner Candidate #3: FURTHER PROOF THAT RACISTS ARE STUPID

A former member of the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve is facing hate crime charges after allegedly driving his white pickup truck into a convenience store he mistakenly believed was owned by Muslims. Authorities said Chad Horsley, 27, of Denham Springs, La., targeted the store in Watson, La., “because of the hate he had for Muslims.” Horsley “wanted to make them pay for some things that he felt happened overseas,” and that he “was also upset that Muslims, in his mind were having an easier time prospering than he was despite his time in the service,” Livingston Parish Sheriff Jason Ard said. However, the store is owned by Sikhs, not Muslims, authorities noted. According to authorities, Horsley entered the shop in late February, posing as a police officer, and threatened to return and search for drugs, the Advocate in Baton Rouge reported. Then on March 3, police say, Horsley drove his white pickup truck into the shop and then drove off.

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