Boners

Boner Candidates June 21, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THE TRUE TEST OF PRINCIPLE IS TO NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP

Utah congressman’s Republican challenger says it’s time to clean House, starting with the 3rd District incumbent. It’s probably not the type of support that presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump would want. Rep. Jason Chaffetz said Monday he will vote for Trump — mostly because of the conservative Supreme Court members he could nominate — but the Utah Republican plans to use his chairmanship of the House Oversight Committee to check and bridle Trump’s wilder ideas and proposals. “I’m going to be a kid in a candy store” if Trump is elected and pursues such proposals as restricting entry for Muslims into America, Chaffetz said. “Let me loose. We’re going to have some very interesting hearings and more bipartisan support than ever if that happens.” Meanwhile, Chaffetz’s GOP primary opponent, Chia­Chi Teng, said the way for Utah voters truly to change Washington would be to replace members of Congress — starting with Chaffetz — who don’t balance budgets or control spending. The two made the comments at a “candidate conversation” sponsored by the University of Utah’s Hinckley Institute of Politics and Gardner Policy Institute. The opponents in the June 28 primary did not appear together, but rather in succession, to answer many of the same questions at the U.’s law school.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEN JUST SHUT UP.

Bristol Palin wants a more private life, so she did what anyone else would do: Posted about it on Instagram. “As much as I want to show off my kids, there’s been too many creeps recently, so I’m trying to keep them safe by not posting pictures of them,” she wrote on Sunday. “So hard but their safety is our no. 1 priority!” Still, the 25-year-old politispawn couldn’t help but pen that missive alongside a photo with new husband Dakota Meyer, an out-of-focus Sailor Grace Meyer, 6 months, and cropped-out Tripp Johnston, 7. Palin wed Meyer in secret with mom Sarah’s blessing earlier this month after a truly tumultuous relationship. The couple split just before their originally scheduled May 2015 wedding. Palin announced her pregnancy with Sailor Grace just after the breakup; Meyer was not revealed as the baby’s father until the pair engaged in a brutal (and very public) custody battle. Still, the couple seem happy enough now to sacrifice a little bit of their privacy for public consumption. Palin gushed about her hubby, “Happy Father’s Day! Thank you for putting our family first, working so hard and giving our kids the most solid foundation. We love you so, so much.”

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Boner Candidate #3: NOW THAT’S WINNING.

Charlie Sheen admitted he had sex with 25 people without telling them he was HIV positive — but insisted he never had unprotected sex with any them, according to a report. “I never did. I wouldn’t do that to someone, I would not,” he told a sold-out crowd during an interview with Piers Morgan at a London Town Hall event Sunday night, Radar Online reported. “The only times I didn’t tell them was because the last 25 times they used it against me and used my medical condition for their own folly and financial gain,” he said. The 50-year-old Hollywood bad boy revealed last December that he has the disease. At the time, he said he was going public with his HIV fight because he was the victim of “betrayal and extortion” — and had paid $10 million in hush money to keep his many sexual partners from going public. Several of Sheen’s former lovers, including his former fiancee Brett Rossi and ex-gal pal Bree Olson, have accused him of having unprotected sex with them since he got the STD.

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