Boner Candidate #1: COREY FELDMAN SAYS HE ‘PASSED’ ON PATTON.
Corey Feldman claims he passed up a potential musical collaboration with Mike Patton because of vague “cult” concerns. Feldman recently appeared on a podcast where he said that the front man of rock bands, “Faith No More” and “Mr. Bungle,” was his first choice as a feature on one of his upcoming songs. Feldman then said that he decided against recruiting Patton due to “cult stuff” and a “dark” overall message. “I like his work, but just not his message, maybe.” When pressed, Feldman offered no evidence or specific details about his concerns. Music journalists and fans immediately met Feldman’s story with intense skepticism, heavily doubting that Patton would have ever agreed to work with Feldman in the first place.
Boner Candidate #2: SHOOTIN’ GUNS IS SURE FUN.
An elderly man in Lehi, Utah was hit by a stray bullet on independence day. According to police, officers had received a report of an man being struck in the back by a small-caliber bullet, after shots were fired into the air by an unknown person. X-rays revealed the bullet lodged in the mans back, and based on its trajectory, investigators believe the wound was likely the result of a stray round falling from the sky. “This incident serves as an important reminder that bullets fired into the air must return to the ground and can cause serious injury or death. Celebratory or reckless gunfire is dangerous and illegal, and the Lehi City Police Department urges the public to handle firearms responsibly.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: THEY WERE EXERCISING THEIR RIGHTS AS FREE AMERICANS.
Fireworks caused a brush fire in Provo, Utah on July 4th despite bans and restrictions. Numerous people gathered near Slate Canyon, in a firework restricted area, to light fireworks this Saturday, leading to a fire that grew to nearly five acres. Fire fighters arrived at the scene within minutes with trucks that were already on patrol, because officials and fire resources predicted such incidents. A lack of wind, along with the crews efforts to contain the fire, helped prevent it from traveling. The fire was extinguished and is now being investigated by the Utah Division of Forestry.
