!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: THESE ARE THE INCOMPETENT AND EVIL BUFFOONS IN CHARGE
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When asked whether he believed the war in Iran, that President Trump and Israeli officials began in February would be over by the midterm elections, Mr. Vance said, “I wouldn’t call it a war right now.” The vice president said there was “no active shooting,” and described strikes from both sides in the past few days as occasional flare-ups. VP Vance, claimed that “The Iranian state media has not been a very good scribe about what’s happened in the conflict thus far, So I’m extremely skeptical of this. ” in regards to the bombing of the wedding party in Iran. Vance also addressed his relationship with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson. He mentions that Carlson said some things he disagrees with but that they are still friends, adding he wouldn’t throw someone under the bus for a political disagreement.
B-
Commerce Secretary, Howard Lutnick, has been forced to publicly apologize for wrongly claiming that no Americans have been killed in President Trump’s war on Iran, Despite 18 military personnel being killed and over 750 injured so far. Lutnick claimed, “The way the president is playing Iran, there haven’t been American deaths; it’s really just an economic choke-out.” In a later post on the social media site X, he wrote “18 members of our military have died, and to those families my heart breaks and I am so very sorry for their loss. I was thinking about the Venezuelan military operation where no service members died.”
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Pete Hegseth has been fixated on the physical appearance of the officers under his command. Last September he stated he didn’t want to see “Fat Generals and Admirals” in the Armed Forces. He has also been critical of women in the military, stating in a podcast in 2024 “I’m straight-up saying we should not have women in combat roles.” Hegseth is being accused of punching down after body-shaming a young Canadian woman in a bizarre social media post—and even Republicans are calling him out. The defense secretary sparked outrage Monday when he reposted a photo from the Vernon Cadet Training Center in British Columbia showing a smiling cadet receiving a medal from an instructor who appears to be overweight. Hegseth slapped a Canadian flag onto the image and added the caption: “(this is real).”
Boner Candidate #2: HE SAID HE WOULDN’T GIVE MY DOG BACK
A former Michigan attorney who admitted to shooting a friend in a saloon bathroom during a dispute will likely spend much of the rest of his life behind bars. On Monday, Aug. 31, Evan Dixon, 62, who once practiced law in Houghton, was sentenced to 18 to 40 years in prison for the shooting death of Theron Duncan, 53. The fatal shooting took place on Nov. 11, 2023, at the Douglass House Saloon in Houghton when Dixon and Duncan were drinking. Dixon had brought his dog to the bar with him that night. Just before 6pm that evening security footage showed the friend Duncan leaving with the dog, heading towards his nearby apartment. When he returned he joked he was going to hold the dog for ransom. The barteneder recounted that Dixon upon hearing this made a sign of a gun with his fingers and pointed it towards Duncans head saying he would “pop him.” An hour later Dixon shot Duncan in the restroom of the bar, then came out and laying at the bar screamed for someone to call 911 and said “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” As part of a plea agreement with prosecutors, in June, Dixon pleaded no contest to one count of second-degree murder in Houghton County District Court.
Boner Candidate #3: WELL, THAT’S ONE WAY TO WIN AN ELECTION.
A Missouri House Republican Candidate has been charged by federal prosecutors with conspiring to plant cocaine and Adderall on his political opponent in an attempt to upend her campaign in the weeks before the primary. He is accused of directing a former campaign manager to plant the drugs on Louise Secker, his opponent in last month’s Republican primary for Missouri’s 161st House District. Mr. Ross won the Aug.4 primary by 33 votes The avidavit mentioned that the candidate used coded messaging in texts with the former campaign manager to plant the drugs in Secker’s car, or purse and then anonymously report them. An F.B.I. agent, Brandon J. Bernhardt, said in the affidavit that the former campaign manager had given local police a nylon glove he said had been provided by Mr. Ross. Inside the glove was a small plastic bag that contained white powder, which later tested positive for cocaine, according to the affidavit. Also inside the glove was a pink-and-white capsule, which was identified as Adderall. Both are categorized as controlled substances.
