Boner Candidate #1: HERE’S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR TEAM
Following a high school football game at in Michigan a Bedford Highschool parent allegedly entered Grosse Pointe South High and defecated in the hallway on Friday, November 6th. The parent was caught on surveillance camera committing the act and then removing their sweatshirt and attempting a getaway. “I don’t think it’s a medical emergency if you drop your pants and just did the business in the hallway. I think it was intentional. But once he got caught then he doesn’t want to face up to it,” a student told the news. A “review of the District’s security camera footage confirmed that an individual who was a parent of a Bedford High School student entered the school building without authorization and defecated in a hallway,” the Grosse Pointe Public School System said in a statement on Nov. 9. The Bedford High School football team released a statement Tuesday saying the team was “appalled” and “deeply disappointed” about the incident. Grosse Pointe South defeated Bedford 42-0 in the game.
Boner Candidate #2: THE WORD FATHER IS USED VERY LOOSLEY IN THIS STORY.
John-Michael Dooley, 35, of Johns Island, was arrested Friday after officers responded to a report of an unattended child outside a Target store in Charleston’s West Ashley neighborhood around 2:30 a.m., according to the Charleston Police Department. Police said numerous customers had gathered outside the store overnight in anticipation of the new Pokémon card release. Witnesses say Dooley gave his daughter a pillow and blanket before leaving her asleep in line sometime after 1 a.m. After an hour police were contacted. When Dooley returned witnesses identified him with police and he was arrested. Dooley admitted that he had returned home, leaving his daughter unattended so he could maintain his place in line and avoid missing the opportunity to purchase the cards. The girl was unharmed and placed in emergency protective custody with the South Carolina Department of Social Services. Dooley was charged with unlawful conduct toward a child and has since been released from custody.
Boner Candidate #3: THERE IS NO HUMANITY; NO KINDNESS; NO COMPASSION.
Ann Lawani, a highly regarded nurse and professor, was still in her pajamas when federal agents detained her at her home in Lodi, California, on Sept. 16. She had placed a call that day to family from a nearby holding facility. After that, however, her siblings and lawyer could not find her in a public database that shows where detainees are being held, and got no answers from Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Ms. Lawani had simply vanished. “It was the worst time of my life, knowing she had been siphoned into an abyss and there was nothing I could do about it,” said her older brother, Sam Lawani. 3 days later, Ms. Lawani was at a detention center in Louisiana. The disappearance was no accident, Ann was arrested just a day after D.H.S. said that the tens of thousands of human beings they take would no longer appear in public databases. “The government is trying to deport immigrants as quickly as possible, and disappearing people from the system helps accomplish that by making it very difficult for family members and attorneys to find people,” said Cassandra Charles, senior staff attorney at the National Immigration Law Center. The consequences, she said, can be “life-altering and devastating.” About 30 percent of all detainees, more than 20,000 people, have disappeared from the database, according to a lawsuit filed in federal court in Boston last month by the National Immigration Law Center and several other groups, which assert that the change is unlawful. As of Monday, Ms. Lawani was still missing from the detainee locator.
