Boner Candidate #1: GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS
Earlier this week, police in Georgia received a report of gunshots and cries for help. Officers responded to a house in Stockbridge, where they were greeted by a 63-year-old homeowner, who had a gun, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said in a news release. The homeowner didn’t drop his weapon when police asked, the agency said. Eventually, the man was shot in the neck. The shooting is under investigation, the GBI said Wednesday, but initial information now indicates that Henry County police had responded to the wrong place.
Boner Candidate #2: THAT WAS A RABID FLEA INFESTED CAT
WHITEHALL, Ohio- Police charged a man after they said he had set fire to a 4-year-old’s cat in front of her in one of the worst cases of animal cruelty they’ve seen. It happened last month on Martha Lane. Police said suspect Russell Cook, 20, got drunk, doused the neighbor’s cat with lighter fluid, and set it on fire. The cat’s owner’s pulled up as it was happening and called 911. “Someone needs to get here and put the cat out of its misery!” the cat owner is heard telling dispatchers on the frantic call.
Boner Candidate #3: HEY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND?
A student who lost her prosthetic hand while on a night out in Plymouth is offering a £100 reward for its safe return. Amelia Welch, aged 20, was partying with friends at Oceana after a university summer ball on Friday, June 3. She took her prosthetic hand off in the bathroom and the next morning realized it was missing. “I don’t know at what point I lost it, but I didn’t have it the next day,” Amelia told The Herald. “I think I went to the toilet, took it off, probably left it and didn’t realize.”
Boner Candidate #4: I’M JUST LOOKING FOR A PIECE OF RHUBARB PIE
MAYFIELD VILLAGE, Ohio- Officers responded to a report June 4 of an elderly male driver that appeared to be drunk or in need of help. Everything checked OK, as the man said he was in the area looking for rhubarb pie. Officers responded to a report June 4 of an elderly male driver that appeared to be drunk or in need of help. Everything checked OK, as the man said he was in the area looking for rhubarb pie. A man said May 31 his childcare provider had left his child outside so long he was overheating when he came to pick him up.
Boner Candidate #5: VODKA OR NINE ONE ONE? YOU DECIDE.
COLLIER COUNTY – A Collier County man called 911 on Monday night because his girlfriend wouldn’t buy him vodka. He told dispatch his neighbors were fighting and yelling. When deputies showed up, there was no yelling, and there was no scene. Deputies said it was a prank, and neighbors said it wasn’t funny. Each time a deputy is sent to a non-emergency call, that’s the taxpayer’s dollars spent and the officers’ time wasted. We got a hold of the 911 call.
Operator: “Collier County 911. What is the status of your emergency?”
Jack Means: “Uh sorry. It’s not what I’d call a true emergency, but it’s the same b-s.”
Boner Candidate #6: PRAY AWAY THE GAY
SAN ANTONIO (FOX 26) – A 17-year-old girl has been sent away by her parents to a ‘pray away the gay’ Christian camp in East Texas. Now other family members are attempting to raise money to sue for her freedom. Over the weekend of June 4, a GoFundMe page titled ‘Save Sarah’ was set up for the teen by her cousin Joey Jordan, an actor who plays Winn Schott on the show ‘Supergirl’–and states that her parents “believe that homosexuality is a sin and abnormal”, and that Sarah was sent away against her will to the facility for troubled teens to ‘pray away the gay.'”
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