Boner Candidate #1: ITS A FAMILY TRADITION
During your first intercourse, were there people around you? Well, this man had his WHOLE family member by his side when he make love for the first time with his newlywed wife! Yeap, you heard me right, all the family members were there!
Boner Candidate #2: THE MEETING I WILL HAVE IN THE FUTURE DID NOT CHANGE MY MIND
Sen. Orrin Hatch was scheduled to meet Thursday with Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland, but a guest essay he wrote for the Deseret News mistakenly posted early shows he had already made up his mind. In a column that briefly appeared Thursday morning on the newspaper’s website, Hatch, R-Utah, wrote that his meeting with Garland didn’t change his “conviction” that the Senate should wait until after the presidential election to consider Supreme Court nominees. The column has since been taken down.
Boner Candidate #3: I JUST LIKE TO SEE HOW PEOPLE REACT
A 64-year-old Riverton man was cited Thursday afternoon for lewdness after he allegedly ran naked in Spanish Fork Canyon with bells hanging from his genitals. Several of the people who saw the man running in the Diamond Forks hot pots area were 8 to 16 years old, according to a Utah County Sheriff’s Office news release.
Boner Candidate #4: WE ALL NEED A HOBBY
An Indian man obsessed with setting Guinness world records got 366 flags tattooed on his body and had all his teeth removed so he could put nearly 500 drinking straws and more than 50 burning candles in his mouth. Har Parkash Rishi, who claims to have set more than 20 records, now calls himself Guinness Rishi.
Boner Candidate #5: DONE WITH THAT BODY? CHUCK IT.
One died in her multimillion-dollar apartment. Another left $1.3 million to charity. A third was an opera costume designer who took regular trips to Europe with his devoted partner. All three donated their bodies to medical science, and eventually served as cadavers for first-year medical students at the New York University School of Medicine. All three had signed forms that promised cremation and the disposal of their ashes by the medical school “in an appropriate and dignified manner.” So how did their dissected corpses end up instead in mass graves on Hart Island, where New York City buries the dead it considers unclaimed and indigent?
Boner Candidate #6: OK, I MADE A WRONG PARENTING DECISION
An Idaho man who took his 14-year-old daughter out of state to marry a 24-year-old man will spend at least 120 days in jail. Keith Strawn was sentenced on one felony injury to a child charge Tuesday afternoon. District Judge Greg Moeller ordered Strawn to serve a suspended sentence of four years in prison with two years fixed and two years indeterminate. Moeller then sentenced Strawn to 120 days in the Fremont County Jail. Strawn will serve 60 days straight with Strawn being eligible for work release the remaining time. “While you spend those 120 day in jail, perhaps you will think about the 120 days your daughter was in a vile farce of a marriage to a rapist,” Moeller said to Strawn during the sentencing.
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