Boners

Boner Candidate Preview September 12, 2016

Boner Preview #1: WAS WEST JORDAN PART OF THE ORIGINAL CONFEDERACY?

West Jordan officials say they are “very disappointed” after a Confederate flag was included in the salute at a city-sponsored demolition derby on Saturday night. The controversial flag was flying from the back of a truck also carrying two American flags and a Gadsden flag — a common Tea Party symbol — when the audience was asked to stand for a salute.

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Boner Preview #2: WE NEED TO ASK THESE BLOKES TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY

It was a really bad place for a bachelor party pit stop. A crew of revelers toting a blow-up sex doll stopped to take selfies by the 9/11 Memorial in lower Manhattan Friday — but police quickly showed them the exit.

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Boner Preview #3: YOU WILL STAND FOR THE ANTHEM OR PAY THE PRICE

An Alabama pastor delivered a message on Friday that was not found in any Bible passage. He told the crowd at a high school football game to rise for the national anthem… or get shot.

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Boner Preview #4: I WAS TRYING TO WAKE HIM UP

A Columbia woman was arrested on Monday after she allegedly tried to remove a body from a casket during a funeral service. Cynthia Ann Frierson, 36, of 511 E. 11th St., was charged with disrupting funeral or memorial service, public intoxication, driving on revoked/suspended license, immediate notice of accident and unlawful drug paraphernalia.

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Boner Preview #5: LETS TEST THIS THING

Police say a Florida man asking if a bulletproof vest “still worked” was fatally shot by his cousin. A Tampa Police report says 23-year-old Joaquin Mendez put on the vest late Saturday and “wondered aloud whether it still worked.”

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Boner Preview #6: WHEN WE RAN OUT OF THE DONOR SPERM I HAD TO MAKE DO

A local infertility doctor accused of using his own sperm on patients is facing criminal charges after a lengthy FOX59 investigation.

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