Boners

Boner Candidates September 9, 2016

Boner Preview #1: WE DECIDED TO HAVE A PEARL HARBOR DAY SALE INSTEAD

A San Antonio mattress store has drawn widespread criticism after posting a video on Facebook promoting a “Twin Towers Sale.”  In the video, Miracle Mattress manager Cherise Bonanno says that there’s no better way to remember the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks than the sale, which offers any size mattress for the price of a twin mattress. Two employees stand in front of a pair of towers of mattresses and an American flag.  At the end of the video, which has since been removed from the store’s Facebook page, Bonanno swings her arms and the employees tumble into the mattress towers, knocking them over. Bonanno shrieks, then turns to the camera and says, “We’ll never forget.” Watch the video in the link below.

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Boner Preview #2: CUT OFF HIS MAN BUN AND THEN EXECUTE HIM

A lowlife crook showed that nothing is sacred anymore — swiping a wheelchair-bound, 94-year-old woman’s pension money right out of her bra as she shopped for new slippers, a startling video shows. The thief targeted Maria Vasquez at a store on East 116th Street in East Harlem at about 12:15 p.m. Wednesday, cops said. A surveillance video of the incident shows the crook trying to look casual as he sneaks up behind Vasquez, slips his hand into her brassiere and takes an envelope that held all the money she needs to live on for the month, $600. Vasquez, a native of the Dominican Republic, was looking the other way at her caretaker as the thief struck, and she said she was stunned when he brazenly pawed at her chest.

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Boner Preview #3: I AM BACK WHERE I CAME FROM

My neighbor, a full-blooded Ute, relayed an experience he had recently that is worth reporting. He and his sister were at Smith’s Food and Drug, 845 E. 4500 South, when another shopper accidentally backed his car into my neighbor’s Mercedes, causing minor damage. The driver exited his car, apologized and got his insurance information to share with them. He volunteered to call his agent on his cellphone so he could immediately provide any additional information needed to fix the car. As they were talking, a woman drove by and yelled out her window for my neighbor and his sister to go back to where they came from because “we don’t want you here.”

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