Boner Candidate #1: WE GOTTA TOUGHEN THESE YOUNG MARINES UP!
Recruits push through the final steps of the Crucible, the culminating training that is part of Marine Corps boot camp, at Parris Island, S.C., on Aug. 13, 2016. (Cpl. Vanessa Austin/ Marine Corps) A Muslim Marine said he was called a terrorist and ordered into an industrial clothes dryer multiple times by a drill instructor who then turned it on, burning him, according to investigative documents that provide new details about the alleged abuse of recruits at the service’s training center at Parris Island, S.C. “You’re going to kill us all the first chance you get aren’t you, terrorist?” the drill instructor thundered at the recruit, the new Marine later alleged, according to the documents that have not been released publicly but were reviewed by The Washington Post. “What are your plans? Aren’t you a terrorist?”
Boner Candidate #2: DRIVER NOT CITED?!
A man bicycling in Taylorsville Tuesday morning got hit by an SUV, sending him flying up onto the hood of the vehicle. Somehow he was able to walk away and it was all caught on home security video. The crash took place on 4800 South and 900 West around 7:30 a.m. “When you have a vehicle and a cyclist in a crash, it doesn’t matter who is right, it doesn’t matter who is wrong, the cyclist will always lose,” said Allyse Christensen of Zero Fatalities.
Boner Candidate #3: POOR JONAH HILL
An important rule to remember when interviewing celebrities: Though they may be famous, they’re still real people, and they’re certainly not your friends. French comedian Ornella Fleury forgot about all that when she interviewed Miles Teller and Jonah Hill about their new movie “War Dogs” last week. While speaking with the two on “Le Grand Journal,” Fleury ended up humiliating Hill with a distasteful joke about his sex appeal. “I have a fantasy,” Fleury said to the actor. “It’s that me and you find ourselves in a hotel bedroom one night, we’re talking, you’re making me laugh, and then all of a sudden your pals Di Caprio and Brad Pitt walk in, and you leave.”
Boner Candidate #4: SURE….GIVE HER HER BOY BACK.
The stripper mother of an Ohio boy photographed in the back of an SUV with two adults passed out in the front from apparent heroin overdoses admitted she smoked crack cocaine and said she “bawled for four days straight” when she saw the horrifying image, according to a report. “I want my boy back!” 25-year-old Reva McCullough told the Daily Mail in an exclusive interview. Her reaction to the child neglect that drew condemnation across the country came as the 4-year-old has found a new home with his great-aunt and great-uncle in South Carolina, Columbiana County Court Administrator Dane Walton told NBC News.
Boner Candidate #5: I REALLY WANTED THAT FRENCH LICK JOB
Authorities say a southern Indiana man passed over for a coaching and teaching position allegedly mailed four dead skunks and a dead raccoon to the successful applicant. Forty-year-old Travis Tarrants of West Baden Springs was charged Tuesday in Jackson Circuit Court with two counts each of stalking, intimidation and criminal mischief. He’s being held without bond. WISH-TV reports that court documents say Tarrants began harassing the successful applicant because he was chosen over Tarrants for a basketball coaching position and fourth-grade teaching job at Springs Valley School Corp. in French Lick.
Boner Candidate #6: I THINK A CERTAIN FLORIDA COP MUST HAVE BEEN HAVING A BAD DAY.
A Lakeland woman received a $114 ticket last week for a law that the majority of Florida drivers are probably violating and don’t even know it. Victoria Herrington received the ticket not for speeding — which she admits she probably was — but for having part of her license plate obscured by the dealership-issued frame screwed in with the plate. In her case, the Regal Lakeland frame plate covered part of the MyFlorida.com on the top of the plate. All the numbers and letters were fully visible.
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