Boners

Boner Candidate Preview September 6, 2016

Boner Preview #1: IT IS SO HARD TO BE BEAUTIFUL

Playboy model Dani Mathers is likely to be prosecuted after police tracked down the woman she pictured naked in the gym and ‘body shamed’ on social media. Mathers was placed under investigation after sparking controversy when she shared a photograph of a naked gym-goer on Snapchat with the caption ‘if I can’t unsee this then you can’t either’.

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Boner Preview #2: THE ARTS?! WHO NEEDS THE ARTS?!

Wells Fargo, the financial services giant immortalized in lyrics to “The Music Man,” has apologized for advertisements that seemed to suggest that teenagers should set aside their artistic dreams and choose careers in science.

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Boner Preview #3: WHAT ARE THE ODDS HE’D BE A TRUMP FAN?

We normally think of angry internet trolls as jobless losers who hurl insults anonymously online from their mothers’ basements. Sometimes, however, it seems that they run for public office as well.

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Boner Preview #4: YOU WILL SPEAK ENGLISH ON MY BUS

A bus driver in southern Idaho has been fired after a video of her pouring water on a student and telling him to speak English surfaced on social media.

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Boner Preview #5: WE REALLY NEED THE “WHY?” HERE.

Police arrested a man on a string of charges Saturday afternoon after he allegedly broke into a house and painted a dog purple, according to a post on the Oak Bluffs Police Department Facebook page.

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Boner Preview #6: WE’LL SHOW THAT DAMNED ROCK

Cellphone video captured a group of people knocking over a popular sandstone rock formation known as the “Duckbill” on an Oregon beach. Oregon State Parks officials originally said they didn’t think the break at the site frequented by tourists was caused by humans.

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