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Boner Candidates April 15, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: SELF-ABUSE AFFECTS EVERYBODY IN DIFFERENT WAYS

A Florida man accused of vandalizing a home told deputies that he had listened to too much music and masturbated too much, which caused him to feel like “going out and destroying stuff.” Largo police officers responded to a home at 2066 N. Belcher Rd. around 2 p.m. on April 8 after someone reported seeing a man smashing a mailbox. When police arrived at the home, they say they found William Timothy Anderson Thomas, 25 on the property, shirtless and covered in dirt. According to an arrest affidavit, a trailer tire had been flattened, a window on the house was broken, and a mailbox, a real estate sign and a garden angel were completely destroyed. Police say Thomas admitted to willfully and maliciously damaging the property.

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Boner Candidate #2: AND JUST WHO PAID FOR THAT DIRT BIKE YOUNG MAN?

 

A Thief River Falls man has been charged after police say he intentionally sprayed lighter fluid at his son during a domestic dispute, causing the front of his sweatshirt to catch on fire. The incident was reported just before 3 a.m. Sunday, April 10, at a home on Center Street East in Thief River Falls. The caller said 45-year-old Michael Roy Nelson of Thief River Falls had attempted to start a tractor on fire and then started his son’s sweatshirt on fire. A deputy arrived to find the son in the driveway and Nelson in the entryway of the home. Nelson was arrested and placed in the squad car while the deputy investigated the situation. According to the criminal complaint, the son had called his grandparents’ home and heard Nelson yelling in the background, so he decided to go to the home. An investigation revealed that the dispute was over money because Nelson’s parents had loaned his son money to buy a dirt bike, according to the complaint.

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Boner Candidate #3: PADDLE THE LITTLE TROUBLE MAKERS.

A Georgia elementary school principal insisted on paddling a five-year-old student — and told the boy’s mother that if she tried to intervene he would be suspended and she would go to jail, the boy’s mom said. Shana Marie Perez, of Covington, Ga., posted two videos on Facebook showing the Wednesday dispute at Jasper Primary School, southeast of Atlanta, along with her son’s efforts to resist. “I couldn’t do anything to stop them,” Perez wrote in a post accompanying one of the videos. By Thursday at 6 p.m., the footage had been viewed nearly a million times. Perez, who confirmed the videos to NBC News, said she did not post a third clip showing the paddling. In a statement, the Jasper County School District said it “is aware of the video released by Ms. Perez. Unfortunately, the district is barred by state and federal law from commenting about the specifics of this incident. The district respects every student’s right to privacy.”

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