Boner Candidate #1: HE’S DEAF!
A North Carolina state trooper shot and killed 29-year-old Daniel Harris — who was not only unarmed, but deaf — just feet from his home, over a speeding violation. According to early reports from neighbors who witnessed the shooting this past Thursday night, Harris was shot and killed “almost immediately” after exiting his vehicle. He appeared to be trying to communicate with the officer via sign language. “They should’ve de-escalated and been trained to realize that this is an entirely different situation,” neighbor Mark Barringer said. “You’re pulling someone over who is deaf, they are handicapped. To me, what happened is totally unacceptable.” Police claim they attempted to pull Harris over for speeding, but he continued driving home instead of pulling over. Whether Harris fully understood what was happening, since he could not have heard the sirens, is unclear. His family, including his siblings, are also deaf and could often be seen communicating with each other via sign language in the neighborhood.
Boner Candidate #2: GET OUT WITH ALL THAT GAY
In a vicious, premeditated attack, a Georgia man threw boiled water on a same-sex couple who were asleep in bed, and told one of the men “get out of my house with all that gay,” a prosecutor said Tuesday. Martin Blackwell is on trial facing charges including aggravated battery and assault in the Feb. 12 attack that caused severe burns and multiple surgeries for Anthony Gooden and Marquez Tolbert, who were asleep together after working an overnight shift. “I woke up to the most unimaginable pain in my entire life,” Tolbert said, sobbing frequently during his testimony. “I’m wondering why I’m in so much pain. I’m wondering why I’m wet. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Boner Candidate #3: WE NEED THE HELP MORE THAN THEY DID
Call it logrolling or one hand washing the other, a generally recognized fact in Washington is that if you want something for your district, it pays to agree to the same thing for another guy’s district. That point may have been lost on three Louisiana congressmen when they voted against a $50.5-billion relief package for the victims of Superstorm Sandy. The 2012 storm ravaged coastal communities in New Jersey and New York. Now they’re in the position of needing the same sort of aid for their own state. How will that play out? The three lawmakers, all Republicans, are Rep. Steve Scalise (currently the House majority whip); Bill Cassidy, who moved up to the Senate last year; and John Fleming. They’re all likely exemplars of another Washington truism: fiscal responsibility is great, until it’s your own district that’s getting fiscally hammered. Then Job One becomes working to “help the residents of the threatened areas in their time of need.”
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