Boners

Boner Candidates for April 19 2016

Boner Candidate #1: LITTLE SNITCHES

Two kids turned their dad into police — as he allegedly drove drunk with them inside the car. Jason Behrens was driving recklessly in Nebraska last week en route to a vacation in Colorado with kids Ethan, 12, and Mackenzie, 14, — when the siblings made a decision to get their pop off the road, according to CNN. “We told him, ‘We don’t want to go anymore because you are drunk and I don’t want to die,” Mackenzie told the network. The two made a pact that if their dad got close to an accident , they’d take action. “The next time he swerves, send the text,” Ethan remembers telling Mackenzie moments before their dad swerved out of the way of a head-on collision.

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Boner Candidate #2: SPEAK ENGLISH IF YOU WANT TO FLY WITH US

A college student and Iraqi refugee was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight this week, reportedly for speaking Arabic during a phone call. According to the Daily Californian, UC Berkeley senior Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, who fled Iraq in 2002, was overheard by another passenger saying goodbye to his uncle on the phone, using the phrase phrase “inshallah,” which translates to “if God is willing.” The woman, who has not been identified, reportedly thought he had said the word “shahid,” meaning martyr, which is associated with jihad. From the Daily Californian: When Makhzoomi hung up, he noticed a female passenger looking at him. Once he made eye contact with her, she got up and left her seat. “She kept staring at me and I didn’t know what was wrong,” he said. “Then I realized what was happening and I just was thinking ‘I hope she’s not reporting me.’” Makhzoomi was quickly removed from the plane by security, searched by officers with dogs, and told that he would not be allowed to re-board the flight. According to NBC, he alleges that the incident was fueled by Islamophobia, and that all he wants now is an apology. Southwest has not given him one.

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Boner Candidate #3: COME ON YOU LGBT-ERS! GET OVER IT!

If only discrimination were as easy to push aside as Republican John Kasich’s presidential campaign.  During an appearance on CNN’s State of the Union on Sunday, the Ohio governor dismissed the outcry over anti-LGBTQ laws springing up in states across the country — North Carolina, Mississippi, Tennessee — saying those who face discrimination should take it in stride.  “If you feel as though somebody is doing something wrong against you, can you just, for a second, get over it, you know, because this thing will settle down,” Kasich said.  Kasich argued government must balance the interests of religious people who oppose LGBTQ rights and those people who face discrimination. “I just wish that everybody would just take a breath and calm down, because, you see, trying to figure out how to legislate that balance is complicated, and you keep doing do-overs, because nobody gets it right,” he said. “So if we would just kind of calm down here, I think things would settle down. And what I like to say is, ‘Just relax.'”

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