Boners

Boner Candidates for May 12 2016

Boner Candidate #1: WHY MUST SOME STUDENTS MAKE A MOCKERY OF PROM?

Dress codes took another beating this weekend as a Pennsylvania teenager was barred from attending her school prom – because she refused to wear a dress! What raised the ire of the Bishop McDevitt High School authorities was that she chose to turn up at the prom in a full tuxedo and looked male, reported the Chicago Tribune. The video of her outfit can be viewed here. Aniya Wolf, who admits to being a lesbian, said she doesn’t want to wear girly clothes. “I’ve just always been like this, ever since I was little. I was always more masculine. You wouldn’t catch me playing with any Barbie dolls, I’ll tell you that right now.” What made the prom rejection even worse was, Wolf noted, her school uniform was strictly a shirt and pants throughout her three years at Bishop McDevitt. “You know, a lot of girls’ dresses, I mean I’m not saying that all of them are this way, but they do show a lot of skin,” she said. “I think I’m dressed pretty modestly.”

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Boner Candidate #2: NOW, YOU CAN OWN A PIECE OF AMERICA’S VIOLENT HISTORY

George Zimmerman says he is auctioning off the pistol he used to kill Trayvon Martin, the unarmed black teen whose murder he was acquitted of in 2013. In an interview with Florida’s WOGX, Zimmerman explained that the Justice Department recently returned the weapon and he believed it was time to “move past the firearm” that he would otherwise “put in a safe for [his] grandkids.” Zimmerman also said he was unconcerned with how critics might react to the sale. “They’re not going to be bidding on it, so I couldn’t care less about them,” said Zimmerman.“I’m a free American. I can do what I like with my possessions.” In the auction description, Zimmerman calls the gun “a piece of American History” and makes multiple references to his perceived enemies, including “B. Hussein Obama.”

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Boner Candidate #3: IT RHYMES WITH PIT AND IT’S ANOTHER NAME FOR DOOKIE

A front yard on Triplet Court in Casselberry looks more like a trench than a manicured lawn. “It is human waste. It is human waste from now 12 people,” neighbor Cindy Raper. Raper rents apartments in the home. People said when their neighbor’s septic system failed, the homeowner just dug a pit in the front yard to dump the sewage. “It rhymes with pit and it’s another name for dookie, I can’t say it on television,” said Raper. “But that’s what we live with on an hourly basis here. Another neighbor told Eyewitness News it’s not the smell that bothers them, but flies that may be attracted to the smell. City of Casselberry leaders told Eyewitness News it is a broken septic system, and the homeowners have been cited as a public nuisance. The owner’s daughter told Eyewitness News, they’ve tried to fix it and have been in contact with health officials, but claims Raper is the one interfering.

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