Boner Candidate #1: HEY, DON’T COME TO THE PARADE IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT
When Frank Linkmeyer unveils his Aurora Farmers Fair parade float each year, his creation is never short on shock value. This year, amid a controversy-filled presidential contest, Linkmeyer didn’t disappoint. He opted for a morbid execution scene showing Hillary Clinton strapped into an electric chair, flanked by the Grim Reaper, a pastor and a familiar-looking executioner: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. The float he entered in the Indiana parade included Trump-Pence campaign signs and phrases including “Benghazi” and “Liar liar pants on fire.” There was also this: At the front of the float sat a miniature Easter Island head, spray-painted black and labeled “Obama.”
Boner Candidate #2: VOTE REPUBLICAN….WE CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE
“It ain’t over til’ it’s over,” as Yogi Berra famously said — unless you’re the Republican National Committee, which declared Mike Pence the winner of the vice presidential debate with Tim Kaine before it began. “Americans from all across the country tuned in to watch the one and only Vice Presidential debate. During the debate we helped fact check and monitor the conversation in real time @GOP. The consensus was clear after the dust settled, Mike Pence was the clear winner of the debate,” the party gushed in a blog post on its website before 7: 30 p.m. The debate didn’t start until 9 p.m. Pence “perfectly shared Trump’s vision to make America great again and that message is resonating with Americans all across the country,” the party said of its VP nominee.
Boner Candidate #3: I GRIEVE BY STEALING
Police say a woman stole the wallet of a New Jersey medic just a short time after her boyfriend had been struck by a car and killed. The incident happened on Sunday in Harrison Township, Gloucester County. According to police, 25-year-old Brittany Carulli had been allowed to sit in the ambulance “in order to grieve the loss of her boyfriend and stay out of the inclement weather.” The medic contacted police later in the day after realizing her wallet was missing from her purse, which was located in the center console of the ambulance she was working in.
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