Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for October 6, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO HOLD YOUR OWN BABY

Ryan Grassley’s wife and newborn in a Utah hospital. After holding his newborn son for the first time at a Utah hospital last month, a man found a strange charge on his bill: $39.35. The man, Ryan Grassley, thought the charge, which appeared to be for holding his baby to his wife’s chest, was a bit of a joke. (The charge was listed as “skin to skin after C-sec.”) So he didn’t take it too seriously when he posted a picture of the bill on Reddit. But the story quickly gained steam: As of Wednesday, it had prompted over 11,600 comments from other users since being posted Monday evening and vaulted high up on the internet’s “front page,” (as Reddit calls itself) by more than 6,000 upvotes.

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Boner Candidate #2: WELL THIS ISN’T WORKING OUT RIGHT AT ALL

Posts advertising the sale of illegal drugs were featured on Facebook’s new Marketplace tab on Monday. Credit Sam Hodgson for The New York Times On Monday morning, Facebook introduced Marketplace, a new section on its mobile app that allowed its users to buy and sell things with their friends and strangers. By the evening, the social giant was apologizing for an issue with the section, which featured some posts that would not have been out of place on the online black market Silk Road, which was shut down by the F.B.I. in 2013. Illegal drugs. Dogs. Guns. Sexual services. Baby hedgehogs. Selling all of these items and services on Facebook goes against the site’s commerce policy. And all of them were available on Marketplace on Monday.

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Boner Candidate #3: OH THAT GUY DOESN’T WORK HERE ANYMORE

What’s the best reason to support the statement “Gay marriage should be prohibited”? That’s a question University of Utah students at the school’s English Language Institute were asked to answer in a course packet this semester. The exercise, which provides a thesis statement and asks students to select the best of three supporting reasons, was made to teach argument skills to those learning English. But one student in a course at the institute, who anonymously tipped The Salt Lake Tribune, said the scenario asks students to answer the question with a “ridiculous, wrong, homophobic statement.”

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Boner Candidate #4: WHO ARE THE BONERS IN THIS STORY?

A bunch of dopes took immediate action when they encountered a couple overdosing on heroin in Tennessee — by pulling out their cellphones and cameras to record the disturbing spectacle. The man, contorted over a metal seat, and woman, who was face down with her legs folded, snorted heroin in a nearby Walgreens in Memphis, police told WREG. A motorist called 911 and the husband and wife were taken to a hospital, where they were revived Monday afternoon. But before they were removed, several people had gathered to rubberneck — and record — the drug-induced stupor, instead of helping.

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Boner Candidate #5: I’LL GROW ANOTHER ONE IF I HAVE TO

All that remains of the solitary marijuana plant an 81-year-old grandmother had been growing behind her South Amherst home is a stump and a ragged hole in the ground. Margaret Holcomb said she was growing the plant as medicine, a way to ease arthritis and glaucoma and help her sleep at night. Tucked away in a raspberry patch and separated by a fence from any neighbors, the plant was nearly ready for harvest when a military-style helicopter and police descended on Sept. 21. In a joint raid, the Massachusetts National Guard and State Police entered her yard and cut down the solitary plant in what her son, Tim Holcomb, said was a “pretty shocking” action — one that he argues constitutes unlawful surveillance and illegal search and seizure.

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Boner Candidate #6: WE DON’T NEED NO LADY TALKIN’ ABOUT BASEBALL….ESPECIALLY HER.

The Astros say they “do not condone” a tweet posted by one of their minor league infielders criticizing broadcaster Jessica Mendoza during ESPN’s broadcast NL wild-card broadcast. Screen grabs of the tweet Wednesday night showed second baseman Brooks Marlow wrote “no lady needs to be on espn talking during a baseball game specially Mendoza sorry.” The tweet was deleted from Marlow’s account. The Astros said in a statement that they have spoken with Marlow and he “agreed that his tweet was inappropriate and insensitive and has apologized.” The team also apologized to Mendoza, calling her “an outstanding broadcaster that we have had the pleasure of working with this season.”

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