Boners

Boner Candidates for September 1, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I DID NOT SHOOT AT THEM GUYS WITH THAT GUN YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THERE AND NEITHER DID MY SON, PROBABLY

A father and son were booked into Utah County Jail on Friday after one reportedly shot at a few hunters and the other reportedly harassed and retaliated against the same hunters. Police reports state that Utah County deputies were dispatched Thursday night to Diamond Fork Canyon where several hunters reported that a male had shot at them. The hunters reported to police that as they were hunting deer, a man approached them in a black truck. The man, later identified as Jentry Joyner, yelled at the hunters before pulling out an assault rifle and firing several rounds. A hunter said a bullet whizzed past his ear, reports state. Joyner, 32, then drove off to a nearby cabin. Police contacted Joyner at the cabin and asked him about what had happened. Joyner said he didn’t shoot at the hunters, reports state. But an assault rifle was found in plain view by officers, leading them to determine Joyner was suspected of the crime.

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Boner Candidate #2: SHE GAVE HERSELF A BEATDOWN

A millionaire has released video of his former fiancee hitting herself in the face during a temper tantrum to rubbish claims he abused her. Scott Mitchell, 45, has released the footage of Mary Hunt, 29, supposedly beating herself up as part of a tense legal battle. The businessman from Tampa Bay, Florida, has accused her of stealing $2.1million worth of jewelry from the safe in his sprawling mansion when they split last summer. Hunt has claimed Mitchell was violent towards her, giving her black eyes and bruises, before he broke off the wedding in August. But his attorney says the new clip is evidence the injuries were self-inflicted. Todd Foster told FOX 13: ‘The explanation for the black eye is now very different. ‘There is no evidence that he ever beat her,’ he added. ‘This video now demonstrates that she is striking herself in the same area of the face and head that they allege Scott struck her. ‘They have now hired a forensic expert who used to work for the FBI to look into more footage as their legal battle heats up.

Boner Candidate #3: WELCOME FEMALE TOURISTS! WELCOME TO INDIA.

Mahesh Sharma, India’s culture minister, said this week that foreign women should not wear skirts while visiting the country, drawing broad criticism in a nation trying to assure female tourists they do not need to fear sexual assault. “The tourists, when they arrive at the airport, they are being given a welcome kit,” Mr. Sharma told reporters on Sunday in televised remarks. “There is a card with it. Dos and don’ts. What to do and what not to do. Like small things. We tell them that: Do not venture out alone in small towns during the night, don’t wear skirts.” “For their own safety, women foreign tourists should not wear short dresses and skirts,” he added, according to The Guardian. He later said he meant it as “an advisory when going to religious places,” comparing it to removing shoes when going into a temple. “I am a father of daughters,” Mr. Sharma said. “I have not said what one person should wear or not wear, neither it is desired nor I am authorized to say so. I have only said this as an advice when they visit to religious place.”

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