Boners

Boner Candidates for September 26, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: SUSPEND THE LITTLE TROUBLE MAKER

Hazel Juco says when she saw discolored water coming from the sink at her school,  it concerned her. “I just took a picture of it. And then in my newspaper class I talked about it with them,” said Juco.  The senior at John Glenn High School also posted the picture on Facebook and Twitter, voicing complaints. “I always hope that someone will see it and want to help us,” said Juco.  “Because our school obviously doesn’t have money.” A short time later, she got called down to the office. “They told me I was being suspended, OSS (Out of School Suspension). It is inappropriate use of electronics in the restroom,” said Juco.

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Boner Candidate #2: OH I THOUGHT HE MOVED OUT YEARS AGO

It’s a plot twist not even Alfred Hitchcock would think of. The elderly Brooklyn woman found this month living with the skeletal remains of her son, possibly for as long as 20 years, is a legally blind hoarder who may not have even known he was there, NYPD sources said. The chilling discovery of the skeleton was made Sept. 15 when a relative showed up at Rita Wolfensohn’s Midwood home to fetch her belongings and take them to her in the hospital.

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Boner Candidate #3: FUN AT THE GUN SHOW

Two juveniles suffered minor injuries Saturday when a potential buyer at a gun show in Sandy accidentally fired a weapon he was looking at. Sandy Police Sgt. Dean Carriger said the incident at the South Towne Expo Center started when a 73-year-old man selling several guns came in contact with a 49-year-old potential buyer. The buyer was interested in a Colt .45 handgun, Carriger said. The seller had all of his weapons zip tied and the potential buyer asked him to cut the zip tie so he could further examine the gun.

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