Boner Candidate #1: HERE, HAVE SOME OF THIS
A man on Manhattan’s Upper East Side attempted to shove a bag of poop down a woman’s shorts on Monday. I can’t live here anymore, bye. CBS New York reports that the 27-year-old woman was grabbed from behind as she walked down 74th Street between First and York. The attacker grabbed her waist, tried to shove the poo bag in her pants, and, per police, groped her buttocks. In the surveillance video above, you can see him throw both the poop and what looks like a glove when he doesn’t succeed. “His hands were clean, but he’s pure filth,” the New York Daily News reports, and for once I have no objections with how their bizarrely overheated re-write guys put things. A witness who works at a parking garage near where the attack took place said the woman ran in, so distraught it took her two tries to call 911.
Boner Candidate #2: HERE ARE THE POLITICAL LEADERS THAT DONALD J. TRUMP ADMIRES.
Donald Trump, the presumptive nominee for the Republican presidential nomination, once again lauded deposed Iraq dictator Saddam Hussein during a campaign stop. Speaking at a rally in Raleigh, North Carolina, on Tuesday evening, Trump praised what he said was Hussein’s innate ability to kill terrorists “so good.” While it’s not the first time he’s mentioned the former leader, this time Trump elaborated that he appreciated Hussein’s authoritarian take on civil liberties. “You know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good,” Trump said. “They didn’t read them the rights, they didn’t talk. They were a terrorist, it was over.” Trump went on to call Iraq the “Harvard for terrorism,” to scattered laughter.
Boner Candidate #3: THEY’RE WAITING FOR THEIR CHANCE TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE
Artist and photographer Krys Fox was enjoying his July 4th alongside many of his queer friends and beach dwellers at Riis Park in Queens, New York, a long-known safe space for LGBT people, when he was surrounded by more than half a dozen police officers and arrested. Fox had been photographing a friend at approximately 6:30 p.m. yesterday evening when the towel tied around his waist slipped off. He didn’t have anything on underneath. That’s when a gaggle of cops ran up to him, including at least three who were plain-clothed, and hoisted Fox into the air and carried him off to the police car where we was arrested and taken to jail. He was held for several hours. They didn’t allow him to put his clothes or towel back on before they paraded him through the beach horizontally for all to see.
[polldaddy poll=9463699]
