Boners

Boner Candidates March 10, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YOU MAY NOT MAKE IT TO THE HOSPITAL ALIVE

Police say a city woman bought a large kitchen knife, stabbed her husband with it when he came home from work, and then stabbed him again as she drove him to the hospital Friday afternoon. Tracy L. Fleischer, 34, had an initial court hearing Monday at the Capital Judicial Center via video from the Kennebec County jail where a judge set her bail at $75,000 cash, with conditions that prohibit her from having contact with the victim and her three children, at least one of which police say saw the stabbing at the home. “These people are witnesses, your honor,” said Assistant District Attorney Francis Griffin. Fleischer’s face reddened and she used her hand to wipe tears from her eyes, as Griffin read off that condition of the bail sought by the state. Griffin requested a $100,000 cash bail, saying, “This is someone who is a risk to everyone involved.”

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Boner Candidate #2: DID YOU CLOSE OFF YOUR FEMALE ORGANS?

A Spanish judge is under investigation after asking a rape victim if she tried closing her legs. According to The Clara Campoamor Association, a gender-rights group in Spain, Judge María del Carmen Molina Mansilla engaged in “offensive, degrading and humiliating” questioning of a pregnant woman, who came to a police station last month to report she had been physically and sexually abused. The judge reportedly went so far as to ask the woman, “Did you close your legs firmly? Did you close off your female organs?” In comments translated into English by The Local.es, Clara Campoamor president Blanca Estrella Ruiz said the organization is pushing for authorities to conduct a full review of the judge. “Such questions are not only unnecessary to the investigation but are completely offensive and violate the dignity of the victim,” said Ruiz.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT IS RICH WITH IRONY

A high-profile pro-gun activist was shot in the back by her four-year-old son after he found her pistol lying on the back seat of her truck just 24 hours after he boasted about his shooting skills online. Jamie Gilt, 31, who posts about firearms on her social media accounts was driving through Putnam County, Jacksonville, Florida, on Tuesday in her truck when she was wounded after the toddler picked up the weapon and shot her in the back. It came just a day after she said the youngster would get ‘jacked up’ before a shooting practice on a page dedicated to her musings on Second Amendment rights. On the profile Jamie Gilt for Gun Sense she wrote: ‘Even my 4 year old gets jacked up to target shoot with the .22’. She reportedly believes she has the right to shoot anyone who threatens her family – and plans to teach her offspring the same mentality.

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